Whisper Composition
by Gysecune
Summary: Gippal, Baralai, and the memories they share. Yaoi, Gippalai.
1. Awakening

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Square does.

A/N: This switches a lot between different time periods, as a lot it is stuff Gippal is remembering. So if the time and place suddenly switches and you're like, "Gwaaa! WTF?!" that's why. I'll warn you ahead of time when it's going to do that in these A/Ns. I wrote this because I am shamelessly in love with the Gippalai pairing. I've been an occasional reviewer on this site as Zanieey, but this is my first fic posted on here (though not my first fic written).

Chapter One – Awakening

Gippal's chest hurt. It felt like someone was sitting on his ribs, he supposed, as he scratched his stomach idly and gazed at Baralai's restless form on the cot next to his.

Worry. Baralai. The two were intertwined more closely than Gippal usually let on.

Whenever they were separated, he became acquainted with a kind of pressing pain, a twinge. It always happened when he saw something he wished Baralai could see with him. He felt it the moment Baralai was shot and when he left "in search of the truth."

He felt it now.

"Ohhh…" Baralai moaned, his fingernails digging into the rough fabric he was lying on. Sweat glistened on his face, but he was shivering violently. Gippal watched his pretty mouth twist into a frown and thought of other times. How easy it had been, to just kiss that frown away…

They had to rest on cots in the engine room, for lack of anywhere else to go. Rikku was none too happy about having to drag these cots out, but they were necessary after Baralai fell unconscious and Gippal was "badly injured." (He had scoffed at this description of it. A little blood here and there never hurt anyone, he continued to insist.)

Gippal placed a cool hand on Baralai's feverish forehead, reassuring him quietly. "Shh… Ed'c ugyo… Ed'c ugyo… (It's okay… It's okay…)" He doubted Baralai could hear him, but there was a small chance he might. More than anything, he knew he was telling _himself_ that things were going to be okay. The truth was that Gippal wasn't really sure. And it scared him.

A harshly drawn breath caused him to direct his gaze toward Baralai once again. He started and gripped Baralai's arm. Then his eyes opened, the first time Gippal had seen them awaken from sleep in so long… Two months. They had both been devoted to work, and then Baralai had been forced into the Farplane.

"Gippal?" Baralai's eyes, an indescribably warm brown, were weary. "It's so…cold."

He willed himself to smile. "What're you talking about? We're in the engine room. Hottest part of the ship."

The dark lashes fluttered, head shifted.

"Baralai? …Hey, you okay?"

"I think… What…happened?" he questioned unsteadily.

Gippal knew he was worried, most likely wondering about what he could have done while Shuyin possessed him.

"You passed out when the ship landed to pick us up. It was after we destroyed Vegnagun. I had to carry you, y'know." He grinned, brushing strands of white hair away from Baralai's eyes.

"That's not what I meant." Still serious. But then, "Wait, you carried me?!"

"Yeahhh, is that a big deal?" Gippal was really smirking now. "You embarrassed or something?"

Baralai appeared to be suspicious. "Did you volunteer?"

"Yeah."

"I knew it. You did it just so you could grope me." The corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly, and he looked up expectantly.

"Baralai! I did not!" Gippal exclaimed hotly. He attempted to glare…but failed and began to laugh.

Baralai did the same, leaning against him. It was like old times… The laughter was quick and easy, effortless. But it was cut short when Baralai's fingers drifted up against the bandages around Gippal's waist.

"Oh." A breath. "I did this."

"No." Gippal shook his head. "No, Vegnagun did."

"It was _me_ playing the piano." His eyes avoided Gippal's, casting downward.

Gippal's fingertips found his chin and gently lifted it up. Baralai had to meet his gaze now.

"He controlled you." He slipped a hand under the arch of Baralai's back and tugged him toward his own body, seeking contact desperately missed. They were now close enough for Gippal to breathe in his ear, part of Baralai that Gippal considered to be perfect. Actually, in Gippal's opinion, there wasn't much at all about Baralai that _wasn_'_t _perfect. The things some regarded as imperfections were just something more to comprehend, something more to find beauty in.

"I hate to hurt you," Baralai whispered. "Please understand that I would never –"

"I know."

It had been awhile since he could remember inhaling Baralai's scent like this, and the very thought brought other memories to mind. Baralai had once told him that his scent was that of the sand and the sea and also the air just before the sun set. He could recall telling him in response that Baralai's own smell was warmth, comfort, clean laundry (although they had been traveling in the desert for months), and something else, a sort of subtle spice underneath it all.

"I missed you," Baralai murmured, turning his face so that it lightly rested on Gippal's.

"I did, too." His words skittered across Baralai's ear, melting into the skin with the softest glance of lips…

Baralai shivered.

"Mmm… You cold?" Gippal held him tighter and let a tiny smirk press into Baralai's neck. He knew Baralai wasn't feeling so cold anymore. In fact, he was well aware of the real reason for that shiver.

"No, I'm not as cold anymore." There was a moment of silence before he uttered the exact same thing Gippal had been passing over in his mind. "It was a mistake to try and act like my past never happened. Paine tried the same thing, as did Nooj… I can't ignore who I am."

"I never could, either, even after I was so sure Nooj had stabbed us in the back like that. I used to be worried that if I ever met up with Paine or Nooj again, I wouldn't even know who they were anymore," Gippal confessed. "…And their eyes would pass over me like I was nothing."

"So was I. But now I see nothing's really changed at all…"

"I see the same thing you do, then." Gippal clapped a hand each on Baralai's forehead and the back of his neck, pulling his face forward so that their noses almost touched. "You're still feverish," he remarked, changing the subject, though not on purpose.

Baralai smiled. "Yes, Mama."

"That's Mama Gippal to you."

"Heh. I can see you in an apron."

Gippal couldn't resist. "You _want _to see me in an apron." He was just teasing him now like they always did.

Baralai laughed. "No. I don't. I _really_ don't."

Laughing. It reminded Gippal of so many places and people. His hand grazed across a bullet hole in the back of Baralai's coat, and he was reminded of other times.

---

A/N: Next chapter will be a desert-filled trip down memory lane, just because I love those days of the Crimson Squad. I'll try to make it longer, I swear. But actually…this chapter is kind of an intro to the rest of the story. Yep, that's my excuse for the shortness.


	2. Grasp

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story except for Neona and Livia, I guess. If I _did _own the other characters, I would make a _special_ sphere starring Gippal and Baralai… XD Just kidding. The other characters and Final Fantasy X-2 belong to Square.

A/N: This fic is finally holding up to its R rating. Disturbing content and swearing in this chapter. Italics denote flashbacks if everything, including punctuation, is italicized. If it's just a word or two, it's meant as emphasis.

Thanks to: Minamoto Miyuki, Salienne de Lioncourt, Slash Fanatic, and Wai-Aki. You guys rock. Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks.

Chapter Two – Grasp

Laughing. It was all they could do to survive the desert sometimes. Gippal wondered if the reason Nooj was so depressed was because he rarely did. Or maybe the reason he hardly laughed was because he was so depressed. Questions like that made him ponder too much, so he often had to force himself to think about something less confusing.

They were laughing now. Paine covered her mouth with a hand, trying to conceal her amusement, and even Baralai and Gippal were attempting to hold in their laughter. It was generally not a good idea to laugh when Nooj was angry.

And at this moment, he was so furious that his face was a reddish-purple.

Gippal had meant no harm in chasing the desert gulls. After all, this had been one of his favorite pastimes as a child. (This was explained _before_ the gulls released droppings high above Nooj's head.)

"I'm really sorry," Gippal stated in an unconvincing tone, trying not to snort. "Nooj, I seriously am –"

"No, you're not." Nooj began to walk ahead.

So Gippal immediately endeavored to pursue him, boots sinking in the sand, arms flailing in the air. "Hey, waaait! I mean it!"

When he was within a foot or so of him, Nooj at last halted.

"Nooj?"

He mechanically reached out (which was unusual, because it was his good arm) and yanked the back of Gippal's shirt over his head.

"Mmrrf!" his muffled voice came from beneath the fabric. He twisted in a frenzied motion, trying to rip the shirt off his face in order to see where he was going. This ended in abrupt failure as he tripped over a sand dune and sprawled into the hot sand.

Baralai and Paine looked like they were finding it difficult to breathe at this point.

"Cred! (Shit!)" he shouted, which was his reaction to most situations like this. "Vilgehk cyht tufh so vilgehk byhdc! (Fucking sand down my fucking pants!)" Dusting himself off, he stood and glared at Nooj.

"Now we're even!" Nooj shouted from up ahead, not even bothering to turn around.

"What did you say?" Baralai asked, grinning. It looked like he already had a good notion of what Gippal had hollered.

"I swore." He turned away so that they couldn't see him smirk before he said the next thing. "I also said that I got sand down my pants."

Gippal stole a glance at just the right moment to catch their expressions. It was always worth it.

---

"You do know that those gulls were a good sign, right, Noojster?" Gippal smiled, because he had an excellent reason to be glad. "That means we're either near an…uycec (oasis) – How do you say that in Spiran? – or an outpost."

"Uycec?" Paine questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Both she and Baralai had been picking up Al Bhed from Gippal by simply asking him what he meant when he spoke it. As far as he could tell, they had only learned some swear words and a few minor conjunctions and pronouns.

"You know…" Gippal mumbled, waving his hand. "Water…in the middle of a desert… Trees…"

"Oasis?" Baralai guessed.

"That's the one."

Nooj sighed. "You had better be serious."

"I am, I swear," Gippal replied. "Who would just dump a bunch of gulls in a desert?"

"You would." Paine's voice was flat.

"…No way. I'm sure there's some kind of animal cruelty law against that."

"Either way, we can get water." Baralai sounded relieved. "We're out." He added this as if it was an afterthought, although it made their situation dire.

Nooj grunted. For him, this was an expression of alarm. "Since when?"

"Today."

"Oh, so _that_'_s_ why you didn't tell us yet," Gippal figured.

"Yeah." Baralai nodded. "No need to scare anyone."

"Scared? M –" He stopped in midsentence. "Outpost."

There it was, down below from where they were on the hill. The outpost looked relatively small, but Gippal was almost sure it could provide what they needed.

---

They were only a little bit away from entering the settlement when Gippal's contented demeanor changed. Unsurprisingly, it was Baralai who noticed first.

"Gippal?" He lightly touched his elbow. "What's wrong?"

"Something's different. It's quieter." He gazed uneasily at the space ahead and quickened his pace. This was uncharacteristic of him. He normally would have leaned into Baralai's touch.

---

At the entrance, there was a young girl sobbing hysterically, collapsed on the stone-paved path in front of structures that vaguely resembled houses. She had long, shaggy blonde hair and looked to be about five or six years old.

Gippal instantly rushed over to her, his face crumbling with worry. "Neona!" he called. "Frana'c ouin sus? (Where's your mom?)"

"Gippal?!" she cried. The little girl came running, almost tripping over her own feet in her haste, and flung her arms around his waist. She was short enough to bury her face into the fabric covering his stomach. "Susso dumt sa oui mavd! (Mommy told me you left!)"

"Famm, E lysa pylg (Well, I came back)," he explained. And then, "Frana _ec_ ouin sus? (Where _is_ your mom?)"

"Cra dumt sa du reta! Drao duug ran yfyo! (She told me to hide! They took her away!)" she bawled, clenching her tiny hands into fists.

Gippal could feel her nails lightly scraping skin, even through his shirt, but other than that, he was blank, felt nothing. Everything was frozen, time suspended, voices stopped. "Oh. Oh, no. A raid."

"What?" Paine asked, staring at him.

Everyone was.

"How do you know her?" Baralai questioned, his voice one of surprise and confusion with eyes to match.

And Gippal couldn't blame him. The consequences of not sharing his past, he supposed. But then again, no one ever asked. It was a kind of unwritten rule. He knew that he wasn't the only one who had dark memories, terrifying enough to make him bolt up in the middle of the night, gasping for air, sweating, empty of oxygen. The same feeling was now descending upon him like a choking fog.

"I…used to live here…" he stammered, trying to moisten his mouth, dry as the desert they had been traversing. "A raid… I'm going to be sick." He really was. Heaved over, clutching his abdomen, no air. How pathetic must he have appeared?

But Baralai didn't find it pathetic, and neither did Paine or Nooj. They were bending over him, inadvertently shading him from the glaring sun. Their bewildered voices barely registered as echoes, as if he was underwater, and they were above, yelling for him. And then –

_His father was stabbed, bleeding. His mother screamed, shirt being torn. Screaming for her husband, herself, Gippal. Gippal was so young. Had both his eyes._

"Gippal! Are you all right?!" Baralai, gripping his arm.

_"You little whore…"_

Baralai shook him roughly, trying to snap him out of it. "What's wrong?!"

_"Gippal!" his mother shrieked, tears streaming down her face and mixing with the blood from cuts on her neck and collarbone. "Nih! (Run!)" _

_It was too late, and Gippal realized that those dirty words weren't for his mother, but for him. The man's dirty fingernails ripped into his shoulder. Putrid breath, rotting teeth… He struggled, too shocked to even cry out. The knife gleamed in the sun and seemed to be slowed down by some invisible force that he couldn't see. How bizarre that it was coming for him, he knew that, and yet he had to let it do so. The man's hold on him was so tight, too tight to allow any possibility of escape._

He hardly noticed as Paine crouched beside him.

"Gippal!"

_"Your eyes are fucking trash! Stupid bitch! You don't deserve to have them!"_

"Gippal!" Still Baralai's voice, strained with anxiety. His arms wrapped around, pulling Gippal's body to his own.

_An intense pain. He screamed and screamed… Then blackness. Heat. Sun. A searing blinding light from the sun. Only in one eye, though. And his mother was nowhere. Blood, over there. How odd, for that man looked just like his father –_

"Please, tell me…" Baralai sounded so vulnerable, so fearful.

And then Gippal was suddenly freed from that horror. He shakily stood up, leaving Baralai by himself on the ground. "I have to go…" Gippal glanced around, searching for… There she was. "Neona, frelr fyo tet drao dyga ouin sus? (Neona, which way did they take your mom?)"

"Gippal, you can't –" Baralai rose from his position on the ground until he was at eye level with him. Well, almost. He wasn't quite as tall as Gippal was. "You don't intend to go alone, do you?"

He was convinced of what he must do, but he still couldn't meet Baralai's eyes. "So what if I do? I have an old score to settle." That was one way of putting it.

"I'm not so sure I think any of this is a good idea." Nooj sounded firm in his decision. From the way he spoke, it seemed as if he wouldn't agree to anything concerning this. "For someone who is supposed to be so smart, you're making a stupid mistake."

"We don't know how many there are…" Paine commented.

"Who the fuck cares?! What's the point of being in this squad if we're not even going to protect the people we're supposed to?!"

They stared at him in silence, apparently too stunned to respond. Even Neona, who only spoke Al Bhed, seemed to sense that something was gravely amiss with Gippal's shouting, for she moved to cling onto Paine's pant leg.

Gippal shook his head and turned to walk away. "I'm going."

"Gippal, stop!" Baralai's hand shot out and grabbed his arm. "I never said I wouldn't go. I just don't think you should do this _alone_."

"I don't, either," Paine informed him, giving her usual eyebrow-raise.

Nooj cleared his throat. "If we're going to do this, we might as well split up. It'd be quicker that way."

It didn't look like this sat well with Baralai, but he nodded just the same. "Fine."

"Who will watch after this girl?" Paine asked. "She can't come along…" Seeing the looks she was getting, she sighed. "All right, I will…"

Gippal managed a slight smile. "She likes you, anyway." Really, it was because she was a woman. To Neona he said, "Pa kuut. (Be good.)" By this he meant, _Don't run off_.

---

There were bullet-riddled bodies everywhere… It had never been a very highly populated area to begin with, so even a small amount of the dead accounted for a large percentage of the population. Mostly men… Gippal was well aware of what became of some of the women and children. It was never spoken, but everyone knew. It rarely happened to the men, because they generally weren't as easy to overtake and usually didn't have a slender build. When his parents had died in the first raid he had ever experienced, he had been too young to be concerned about such a thing.

"Anyone…alive…?" His voice was almost inaudible. No one answered. He tried again, this time louder. "Does anyone need help?!"

Just a disturbing hush to answer him. Gippal was about to give up, about to start looking through the structures –

"Gippal?" It was raspy, a woman's voice.

His eyes darted around, finally settling on the only moving object in a pile of bodies. An arm. He crouched down and tried to peer at her face.

"Livia!" It was Neona's mother. Her clothes were almost in shreds, blonde hair matted with blood… "Neona'c ugyo. Cra'c ymm nekrd. Fa vuiht ran – (Neona's okay. She's all right. We found her –)"

"E's kmyt. (I'm glad.)" She smiled weakly and reached up, placing her hands on his face. "Oui cina ryja knufh cehla E cyf oui mycd. Pa lynavim, Gippal. Drao sekrd pa haynpo… (You sure have grown since I saw you last. Be careful, Gippal. They might be nearby…)"

"I see we missed a few," someone snarled.

Gippal whirled around, already expecting this. He had been walking for about ten minutes and hadn't been attacked yet. This man oddly looked familiar…

_"You little whore…"_

Gippal froze.

But it had to be him. Greasy dark hair, rotted teeth, and most unique, a blurred scar on his temple that looked like it had once been a burn. His thin lips stretched into a filthy grin. Gippal experienced another wave of nausea. Then…a gun lifted in the air and aimed for Livia.

"Livia!" Gippal screamed. He shouldn't have been surprised when the bullet hit him, but he was. The instinct to protect and jump in front of her overshadowed any thought process.

The man raised his gun again.

"Gip –"

And shot Livia dead.

Gippal hadn't cried in so long that the stinging of his eye was a foreign feeling to him. He had been told that he was fortunate not to die at the hands of the man who had killed his parents, but here he was, at the mercy of the same man's gun. All he could do was writhe powerlessly on the stones.

The man bent down, coiled his dirt-caked fingers in Gippal's hair, and gave a good yank. He leered at Gippal's watering eye and rumpled appearance.

"Unngh!" he gasped. "You…son of a bitch… I hate you…! You killed my parents, took my eye… E vilgehk ryda oui! (I fucking hate you!)"

A hand soundly striking his face silenced him.

"You stupid piece of trash. What, am I supposed to remember you?" The barrel of the gun dug into the side of Gippal's forehead.

Gippal stared at him. This was it. He was going to die. Strange how the only thing he could think of was Baralai… How he smiled, laughed, slept. He was beautiful when he was sleeping. Well, he was beautiful no matter what he did. He would never see him again…

"It doesn't really matter. You're going to d –"

Something was wrong with the man who was about to kill him. He was gurgling as a star of red expanded on his white shirt. Expanding, expanding… He fell over.

It was Baralai who stood there now, eyes wide, holding his gun with the bayonet thrust forward and covered in blood. He said nothing at first, just simply dropped the gun and threw his arms around Gippal's neck.

"He was going to kill you…" Baralai murmured in his ear. "I… I never killed anyone before…"

Gippal noticed that Baralai's hands were shaking as he gently rocked them both. He clasped his fingers around Baralai's as tightly as he could.

"Baralai," he whispered. "I'm going to be –" Sick. Like had said earlier. He could only break apart from the embrace and gag into the dust. "We didn't…even…eat anything… I can't stop…"

"It's all right…" Baralai's hands rubbed wide circles into his back.

"All I could think of was you."

The hands stilled. "I was worried about you, too. I'm so sorry… I never should have left you."

"Don't blame yourself. You didn't know." He took a deep breath, not wanting to slip away from Baralai, as close as he was. "We should get going."

Baralai asked, "What about that woman?"

"Livia? Neona's mom?" He lowered his gaze. "She…died. I tried to stop her from getting shot, but I – I couldn't. He still shot her… She's… I can't believe she's…right there." He gestured toward where she lay, cringing as he did so. "We have to make sure Neona doesn't see her…"

"Gippal, you're –" Baralai's hand wavered as drops of red fluid rolled off his skin and into the sand on the stones. "You're bleeding!"

He was numb, could care less. "Yeah. I got hit by a bullet that went for her." The words were mumbled. His lips could barely form the words.

"Come on, we have to stop you from bleeding to death!"

The tan face above Gippal's blurred. "Baralai, I…"

Darkness.

---

Next chapter: The aftermath of the raid brings Gippal and Baralai closer.


	3. Realization

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X-2 and its respective characters belong to Square, and because I'm not Square…sadly, I own none of it. I guess I own Anyata, though.

A/N: Fixed up all the crap that needed it and put the Al Bhed translations in. (Lots of thanks for the suggestions!) If two guys kissing isn't your thing, you might not want to read this. The first part of this chapter takes place in the present, while the rest of it's in retrospect. From now on, whenever I switch to the past, it'll say it near the dashes that break up the sections.

Thanks to: Slash Fanatic (Even if you _do_ review every story you read, it's still muchly appreciated.), Mashimaro-Byul-012, Gravity, JokaJoker (Yeah, he was crazy all right! But he honestly believed that what he was doing was the right thing. Wow, he really _was_ nuts.), Hidama (Thanks, and I think your story rocks.), Nicky, Wai-Aki (Thanks for the Al Bhed suggestion. It reads way easier now!), Bbchan (Yes, you can get a translation of the Al Bhed through the link in the ch. 2 A/N notes, but now it's in parentheses for maximum Anti-Pain-in-the-Arse Protection.), Nanashi2, Isarandel, and Capitan Shibby (NUUU, not my eyeballs!! XD But Gippal's missing one, and he seems to handle it quite fine!).

Chapter Three – Realization

Darkness. It surrounded him, made him forget where he was. Then he felt the scratchy cot beneath him and the woven cloth of Baralai's coat and remembered. The airship. Gippal had initially thought that the ship would reach unbelievable speeds, but apparently, he was wrong. The grating snoring of Nooj seemed to confirm this. Perhaps the ship had suffered a malfunction of some sort and needed repaired? He would ask in the morning.

There was too much blackness coating everything for Gippal to actually see Baralai's restful face, but he had observed it enough to fill in the gaps by now. Baralai's lips would be gently parted, because his mouth never hung open like Gippal's or was clamped shut like Paine's while they slept. He wasn't prone to snoring like Nooj was or yelling odd things at night like Gippal was.

Baralai did, however, wake up with tears on his face some mornings. Fortunately, this was a rare occurrence for him, at least as far as Gippal knew. After these mornings, Gippal had to make him take it easy. There was something else, though… Baralai _did_ talk in his sleep. They were soft whispers, fading into the air. To a person not as familiar with Baralai as Gippal was, they would mean nothing, a mass of assorted nonsense. But Gippal knew that Baralai was recalling his past days, most often the ones spent with him.

There was a slight rustling of fabric, and so faint Gippal could hardly hear it, Baralai breathed, "…Kiss me…"

So Gippal did. It was only a light brush of their lips, but it was enough to make Gippal content, at least for the moment. He knew that if he applied even a little more pressure, Baralai would open his eyes, and the temptation would become crushing, even with Nooj right there.

And Gippal had an outstanding mental image of just how Nooj might appear after waking up to _that_.

Light sleep was a symptom of freezing desert nights, when the survivors of the Crimson Squad had regularly switched watches. Vulnerability resulted from deep sleep and had been considered to be unacceptable. No matter how many times Gippal had tried to tell his body to quit believing this after the training was over, it continued to ignore him. He still woke up to any noise, loud or quiet.

This had bad and good sides to it. Having to wake up was normally an annoyance, but waking up to Baralai's delicious mouth was not.

Before letting sleep carry away his consciousness again, Gippal had a fleeting thought about something. The first kiss they had shared. It had been after Baralai had saved his life.

--- Past:

"– amnit…waking up…" Gippal heard someone mutter. …Nooj?

The misty colors sharpened into the faces of Baralai, Paine, and Nooj. They were peering down at him. He was on the ground?

"Baralai, Paine, hold him down," Nooj ordered, rooting in his backpack for something.

"What?" Gippal mumbled. Something was really wrong with this… "What are you –? Rumo cred! (Holy shit!) That hurts!" He was now fully aware of everything, including the burrowing pain in his side.

Paine pushed down on his chest, and Baralai moved to lift Gippal's head into his lap. Before he had a chance to even comment on this, Nooj was peeling his blood-soaked shirt up and had what looked like a needle in his hand…

"FRYD?! (WHAT?!)" He had never been known for his fondness of needles or other sharp things.

Gippal tried to thrash, kick out his legs, anything, but Paine didn't budge, and neither did Baralai. He clasped Gippal's hand in his own, a strong grip, like he was bearing the pain and fear with him. His eyes were downcast regretfully.

"NO! Just leave it in there!" he pleaded. "Nooj, I swear –"

The pain was so intense, like his side was being ripped open, that for a second, he couldn't even shout. Just soundlessly drop his jaw.

"Cover his mouth, Baralai. He's going to scream." Nooj's voice held a hint of concentration, and it was then that Gippal realized he was actually _digging _in his side, most likely for the bullet.

Nooj wasn't wrong. Raw noise tore from his throat, only to be stopped by the shaking hand over his lips. He threw his head back and felt Baralai there. He saw brown eyes clenched shut, teeth gritted…

It stopped. Gazes locked, and Gippal could _feel_ the suffocating sorrow in Baralai's.

He didn't really remember much after that. The needle began to weave in and out of his skin without an anesthetic of any kind, causing him to shut his eye as tightly as he could again. Things happened blocky, in fragments. Voices melded together, oozing, like drying wax.

"It's going to be okay…"

"Almost done…"

"Stop moving around so much…if you can…"

"Baralai…are you shaking…?"

"Just a few more stitches…"

"Just like him…to get shot…"

None of the voices were his.

"There. Done."

There were no more hands holding him down, and he was free to move, but resting his head in Baralai's lap was very comforting. He was too exhausted to do anything but lie there and allow fingers to course through his hair. His throat was sore from screaming, he was incredibly embarrassed, and he discovered with horror that he had been crying – in front of everyone – for the second time that day.

With some help from Baralai, he staggered to his feet and found that the throbbing in his side was still quite prominent to the point that it felt like knives were stabbing that area. He gasped under his breath, not wanting anyone hear. But, of course, Baralai did.

"Gippal…?"

"I'm fine," he forced out. "Unngh."

"Look at this." Nooj gestured them over as he returned supplies to the backpack. "I had a little something to numb the pain, after all. However, it still wouldn't have been enough to stop all of the pain."

Gippal gaped at him. "You… You… This was revenge for the gull shit, wasn't it?!"

Nooj chuckled. "No, if I wanted revenge, I would have left the bullet in there. Oh, and here…" He strode over and plunked something in Gippal's palm. "Consider it a gift."

He examined it. A small, dark object… The bullet. "Thanks." His voice was laced with sarcasm. "I will treasure it _forever_." But he dropped it in a pocket just the same.

"Grateful as always." Paine sighed in an exaggerated manner, though the smile on her face told him that she didn't really mean it.

"Hey, Paine," Gippal grumbled. "Cut me some slack. It freaking hurt, okay?"

"Believe me, I know," she replied. "I had to hold you down."

He could feel his face burning more and more with each passing moment, so he tried to glance down to hide it, but he knew it was hopeless. "Um…thanks." He scratched the back of his head and looked away. "Especially you…Baralai."

"You would have done the same for me…" Baralai murmured. "And besides that…should you be thanking me for killing someone? It was wrong. I know it."

"Your first?" Nooj asked.

"Yes."

"Don't expect to keep your hands clean if you want to live," he advised. "There will be many more dead after that one."

"I don't want it to be like that," Baralai protested. "It isn't fair…"

Nooj let out a short laugh. "You know what they say: 'Life isn't fair.'"

"That doesn't mean people have to be that way," Baralai shot back. "And what's so funny?"

Nooj's face creased in amusement at Baralai's anger, and he turned away, walking toward the houses.

Gippal wondered where they were going, but he didn't ask, because he had too many other things to say as it was. "It wasn't wrong, Baralai. It was for defense. That man was a monster… And the funny thing is, he probably thought the same of me. Who's to say what's wrong and what's right? In his mind, he must have figured what he was doing was the right thing… The Al Bhed are nothing but insects to be crushed to some people. I'm surprised they haven't invented some kind of pesticide to kill us all."

He knew that they were staring at him, without words, but he didn't care.

"How many people have you killed, Gippal?" Baralai questioned as they followed Nooj.

Suddenly, he was worried. "Will you think any less of me if I tell you?"

"No, I couldn't."

"Well, then…" He inhaled deeply, then let the air trickle out. "Countless people, mainly in small battles to stop raids like that one. It was for defense every time. My first was when I was ten. That time, it was some little girl whose life was on the line…" He shook his head. "I had to kill him. I had no choice. And I would do it again without hesitation."

"So would I, for you." Baralai smiled in that slight, gentle way of his, which somehow always made Gippal feel this pang of _something_.

He knew what that something was. Telling himself it was just from feelings of friendship was no longer a possibility. A person who was only a friend of Baralai's wouldn't want to drag their lips over his dark skin, nip at that kissable mouth… He shuddered just thinking about it. But Baralai was certainly no girl, so the risks were higher. How would he react if he found out how Gippal really felt about him? Would he be shocked or disgusted? Maybe all he wanted was Gippal's friendship. There was also the other option, and it was so wonderful that he almost couldn't comprehend it. To be able to hold him close and tell him anything that he wanted to…

"I've never killed anyone… I'm not sure what I'd do if –" Paine turned her attention to Nooj. "Where _is_ he going?"

---

It turned out that Nooj had no idea where they were going, either.

"I assumed you would know somewhere we could go," he explained.

"Well, Nooj –" Gippal paused and grinned slyly. "– you know what else they say besides 'Life isn't fair': 'When you assume, you make an ass out of –'"

"I know, I know," he interrupted, clearly annoyed.

"'You and me,'" Paine finished.

Nooj rolled his eyes skyward. "Thank you, Paine, for that most outstanding performance."

"And what an impressive performance it was!" Gippal declared, making minute clapping noises and bowing at the same time.

"I think there's enough sarcasm here for us each to have a slice."

Gippal beamed at Baralai's remark. "In that case, give me the pie, 'cause I want to smash it into Nooj's face…"

He and Baralai both stopped walking, and Gippal knew they were waiting for the same thing.

"Brats…"

Their laughter was simultaneous, blended together.

"I've never actually heard either of you laugh apart," Paine noticed.

This seemed to cut the laughter off in an amazingly abrupt fashion.

---

Gippal's fist stopped just before hitting the door. He looked over at the others. "She should still live here. Old woman is pretty set in her ways." Then he knocked and called, "Anyata!"

"Es lusehk! Fyed, bmayca! (I'm coming! Wait, please!)" someone yelled from behind the door. There were muffled mutterings and also a great deal of shuffling after this.

"Anyata!" he exclaimed, holding his arms open wide as if expecting a hug.

She was a short, pudgy woman with gray hair bound up in a bun and very astonished green eyes. Gippal noted that she still had the same blue-and-white-checkered apron and enormous ladle, which now clattered to the floor.

"Gippal!" she cried, accepting his invitation for an embrace. "Dryhg kuuthacc oui'na rana! Yht yd y desa mega drec! (Thank goodness you're here! And at a time like this!)" She peeked past Gippal's arm. "Oh. Who are you?"

"Baralai, Paine, and Nooj," Gippal introduced, pointing to each of them respectively.

"I shouldn't let you in as a form of protest against the Crimson Squad using our desert like they own it and then disrespecting our people," she stated matter-of-factly.

Gippal cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Anyata…?"

"I'm not serious, you crazy boy. Come on in." She stooped down to pick up the ladle and ambled back to the stove.

They walked in but stood there awkwardly, with the exception of Gippal, who immediately snatched a stool and slouched with his chin on his arms.

"Do you have any open rooms?" he asked.

The old woman rinsed off the ladle and plopped it back into the pot on the stove. "Three. The fourth is being used by Neona."

"How is she?!" Gippal was bolt-upright on the stool now, mouth open in surprise. "Livia –"

"I'm aware. Neona saw her." Anyata pinched some spices from a couple of cans and sprinkled them into the pot. "I should have been expecting this. She was a pretty girl. It still doesn't stop it from hurting."

"I'm sorry." He felt that the words didn't cover enough, but he did mean them. The guilt and pain were so thick that he could have choked on them.

"No. You're injured. You have done enough."

A quizzical look passed over Gippal's face. "How do you know that? I didn't even tell you."

Anyata shrugged. "You winced when I hugged you." She turned and eyed the somewhat uneasy guests. "You can make yourselves at home, y'know. Sit down…" She appeared to be pleased when they slowly made their way to the table. "We have running water here for showers and such. The Al Bhed are nothing if not innovative." Anyata squinted at Nooj. "What a strange decoration you have."

Everyone but Nooj cracked a smile at this.

"I wouldn't bring that up if I were you…" Gippal suggested. "Dra kimmc druikrd ra fuimt syga yh aqlammahd duemad. (The gulls thought he would make an excellent toilet.)"

"E caa… Dannunewehk kimmc ykyeh? (I see… Terrorizing gulls again?)" She began to ladle soup into bowls. "Soup's done. I can't deny you food or shelter, although I am angry that these maesters are risking the lives of children in this training operation." She leaned against the counter with her hands on her hips and sent Gippal a rather pointed look.

Gippal paused with the spoon frozen halfway to his lips. "I can't help but think that's directed at me."

"It is. You're only _sixteen_, Gippal."

"He lied about his age," Nooj spoke up, sighing heavily, as if Gippal was some kind of trouble he couldn't dismiss.

"Gippal!" Anyata shrieked. She clutched his cheek and yanked it away from his face with a bruising force. "Fryd ryja E dumt oui ypuid moehk?! Ed'c pyt! Pyt! (What have I told you about lying?! It's bad! Bad!)"

"Ow! Anyayah, leh go uh mah fay!" he shouted, sounding like he had a mouth full of pebbles. When she released it, he rubbed his sore cheek and glared at Nooj. "You got beat up a lot as a kid, didn't you, Nooj?'

Nooj just smirked into his spoon. Typical.

"And you and you –" She pointed at Paine and Baralai. "How old are you? Did you lie about your ages, too?"

"I'm sixteen," Paine told her, "but they hired me knowing that. There was no age restriction for recorders."

"Eighteen," Baralai said when she looked over at him.

"Huh." She studied him more closely. "You have a babyface."

Even with Baralai's dark skin, Gippal could tell he was blushing.

"Well, I'm at least glad that they stuck you with a forty-year-old."

And that was when Gippal choked on his soup.

---

Gippal poked his head in the room hesitantly. He was going to ask Baralai if he could room with him, because everyone else was sleeping, and besides, being in the same bed with Nooj would be more repulsive than cramming slugs up his nose. But Baralai was looking at something in the flickering candlelight, tracing his fingertips over lines that Gippal couldn't see. He seemed to be captivated. Gippal was as well. He could have easily stood there and watched him for another hour or so.

"Baralai?" Gippal tentatively tried to get his attention.

Baralai was startled and dropped whatever it was in his hands in an almost guilty manner. He had an odd expression on his face when he glanced up at him, Gippal thought, and he wondered why.

Oh. His hair. It was down because of the shower he just took and must have looked strange. That had to be it.

Stepping over Baralai's discarded coat, boots, and ties, he bent over and picked up the slip of paper Baralai had been gazing at. It must have been interesting, and maybe it was none of his business, but he could just pretend to be giving it back to him.

It was a black-and-white picture. Of a small boy with a bandage over his right eye and a stuffed cactuar in his arms. He had light, unkempt hair and a bit of a bewildered expression. His remaining eye was impossibly large, reflecting so many things…

It was himself.

"Where did you find this?" he asked, barely hearing his own voice over the pounding in his chest and ears.

Baralai had been so taken…by a picture of him?

"In the drawer," he answered in a low voice, avoiding his gaze. "Is it you?"

"Yes. I…" Why did his mouth feel so dry? "I gave it to Anyata. I figured if anyone deserved it, it was her. She practically raised me. I lived here for a short time, helping her and Livia with the inn."

"You should…get into bed," Baralai suggested. "It's late."

Gippal had an idea of how to satisfy the curiosity that had been plaguing him for a good amount of time. "I will if you agree to tell me more about _your _past, seeing as you already know so much about mine."

Baralai's eyes reflected suprise, but he agreed nonetheless. "All right. But you'd get in bed even if I didn't agree."

Gippal smiled. "You're right." He set the picture next to the candle, undid the straps of his boots and peeled them off, unbuckled the strap that held the armor on his shoulders, and tugged off the yellow straps connected to the covering over his pants, consciously aware of Baralai surveying his actions the entire time. When he got to the belt and stripped it off the extremely loose pants, he earned a pair of eyebrows rising in response.

"You wear too many clothes," Baralai commented as he scooted over to make room on the bed for him.

Gippal grinned. "Look who's talking."

"Heh. Touché."

He climbed into bed, gripping the waistband of his pants tightly so that they wouldn't fall down. His hands pulled the thin, coarse inn sheets over them both, and he rested his head back comfortably on the pillow, staring at the ceiling.

"My parents weren't killed by Sin like you might think," Baralai began, evidently finding the ceiling as entertaining as Gippal was. "I was very young at the time when my parents' marriage began to crumble. I'm not sure why…he was so…rough with us –"

Gippal started slightly and turned his head to face him.

He continued despite his reaction. "– but my mother eventually grew tired of it and found someone else. My father was never around, making excuses all the time for his absences, so it wasn't hard for her to pull off. One day…" He paused, breathing in and out audibly. "One day, he caught them…and killed them both. Then he left, without another word to me or to anyone else. He was found a year later and put in prison. I haven't seen him since… It's possible he died." The words came out faster now, tripping over one another. "I didn't know when I saw. I thought it was spilled wine –"

Baralai was cut off when Gippal rolled over and gave him a light embrace. "I'm…so sorry…"

"It's fine. I'm fine. It's all right, really."

Gippal was close enough to feel him swallow.

"As long as I can hate him… That's why it was better that I killed that man. If you had killed him, it would be harder for you to hate him…"

"I know. He was the person who cut my eye all those years ago…" Gippal had a hard time removing himself from Baralai's warm body, but managed to move to his side of the bed. "I know you're right."

"He did that to you…?" Baralai questioned in disbelief. At Gippal's nod, he closed his eyes. "Then I hate him, too, for all the pain he caused you."

Gippal observed the patterns the candlelight made on Baralai's face and rubbed at his eye patch. It was usually a real pain after bathing, an unwashed piece of fabric on clean skin.

"Why don't you just take that off?" Baralai asked him.

He sighed in return. "Because it's ugly."

Baralai opened his eyes again. "You could never be ugly… If it's bothering you, you should take it off."

His eye widened, and he could barely restrain a noise of surprise. Unless he had heard wrong, Baralai had just given him a compliment on his appearance… Still, he was convinced it looked terrible. On the other hand, it now irritated him even more. "Well…" His fingers curled around the strap, and he pulled it over his head. Suddenly, he couldn't meet Baralai's eyes, couldn't bear the look of judgment that he was sure he would get for doing this.

Gippal was about to bury his face into the pillow to escape complete embarrassment when fingertips touched his chin and guided it upward. Warm lips pressed into the scarred tissue where his eye once was, and then they ghosted away…

He was stunned. Beyond stunned. Was sure he was now gaping like an idiot. But how else was he supposed to react?

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking," Baralai apologized in a rush of words.

"No…" Gippal was suddenly finding this situation to be not such a bad thing after all. "Baralai… Has anyone ever told you that you say sorry too much?"

It was like something had seized him – nervousness, anxiety…but another thing, a kind of heat pooling throughout his body. It was this heat that urged him to cup Baralai's face with one hand and to comb through his white hair, still damp from showering, with the other. Hundreds of voices were screaming at him, telling him that it was too great a risk to take, but he blatantly ignored them all and caressed Baralai's lips with his own. Then Baralai _let _him, was opening his mouth and kissing him back, and the voices of doubt hushed.

Baralai tasted fresh and sweet, even though they all had had to scrub their teeth with water from their canteens and sand while in the desert. There was also a hint of the spicy soup they had gratefully eaten, and Gippal aimed to remember it all. Baralai's kisses neither took control nor gave it away. They were exploratory, his tongue lapping at every tiny crevice, including ones Gippal wasn't even sure he possessed. Dizziness closed in on him, forcing him to break away for air.

"That was…really nice…" Gippal panted, not feeling particularly choosy about the words that tumbled out. His mind was being hijacked by an overwhelming need to stroke that tan skin again…

Baralai's hands were resting on Gippal's hips poking out of his loose pants, and they slid up smoothly so that the pads of his thumbs brushed up against nipples. Gippal gasped, squirming uncontrollably under Baralai's touch, a little surprised at his sudden boldness. He watched the pulse in Baralai's neck beat and then closed his mouth over it, sucking and nipping a path up to a soft earlobe, which he licked slowly. Baralai moaned quietly and began pressing fervent kisses to Gippal's neck. He ran his tongue over the edge of his collarbone, dragging in air when Gippal bit down on his ear and started to suckle on the skin. Baralai's chest was smooth and lean, Gippal noted with appreciation. His hands went lower, skimming over his navel and taut stomach…and Baralai pulled away.

"We should stop," he whispered, reaching for Gippal's wrists.

"Why?" He wasn't hurt, just desperate for more contact.

"Because if we don't…" Baralai looked away. "I never kissed a boy before now. I wouldn't…know what to do. I've never even given myself away to anyone completely. And besides, this is the first time I've ever kissed you…"

"I've never done this with a guy or been all the way, either." Gippal pressed a kiss into Baralai's neck and murmured, "So I know how you feel."

Baralai appeared to be taken aback. "You never have?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?" He grinned. "Do I rub off as overly sexalicious or something?"

"No!" Baralai laughed, releasing his hold on Gippal's wrists. "You just seem…very extroverted."

"I _am_ only sixteen," he pointed out, smiling. "I've had less time to lose my virginity than you."

Baralai's lips curled into a smile as well, joining the thoughtful expression on his face. "Sometimes I forget that's how old you are."

They were quiet for a moment, and Gippal used this time as an opportunity to regain his normal breathing rate.

"I'm tired." A yawn. "Good night, Gippal…"

Gippal pushed back the hair on Baralai's forehead and placed a kiss there, forcing himself to avoid any action that had even the slightest chance of making him want to commence Operation: Ravish Baralai.

Another moment of silence.

"G'night, Baralai."

He closed his eye and fell asleep to the sound of Baralai's breathing.

---

A/N: Next chapter: A sandstorm occurs. And Gippal decides to take another shot at Operation: Ravish Baralai. XD


	4. Sunny Side Up

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X-2. Square does. Crudcakes. Actually, though…it'd be a lot of work to be the owner of something so huge.

A/N: This chapter is chock-full of yaoi content, so if you don't like that…how did you get this far?! But what I mean is that there is actually sex in this chapter. So if that isn't your thing, I suggest hitting the back button.

Thanks to: yuyemi 01 (About the Rikku thing… Heh heh, I've had plans for that. And as for the age thing, in Spira I'll count Gippal as a minor…mainly because it makes decent fodder for Anyata to beat up on him. XD), JokaJoker (I've never seen Black Hawk Down, but I picture Gippal wearing this military uniform… :D), Slash Fanatic, Wai-Aki (Nooj's reaction… Well, I _wonder _that, too. Heh heh. I must continue to look innocent.), Minamoto Miyuki, Mashimaro-Byul-012, BBchan, Kirie Himuro (I always go back and see all these little annoying errors I make… – grin – So I try to fix them! As for the personality thing, well…I really think that's a matter of interpretation. We didn't see tons of Gippal or Baralai during the game. Not as much as our friends, YRP, anyway…), Asidian (Holy crap! You flatter me! XD), Si-chan (Hope you won't have any computer troubles this time!), Jade Samurai, and Icicle Goddess (I have decided to dedicate this to your meowing parrot and iguana. – grin – ).

Chapter Four – Sunny-Side-Up

"Baralai…?" Gippal opened his eye sleepily.

"Time to wake up." The voice in his ear was huskier than usual. It always was in the morning.

Not that he minded.

"I fell asleep to the sound of your breathing… That's why I slept in so late." Baralai was propping himself up on his elbows, looking more than a little dazed. "And we _did_ sleep in."

"According to whose schedule?" Gippal wanted to know. "Ooh… This thing – this cot – is shit on my back." He sat up and arched his back, causing it to crack, not oblivious to Baralai's wincing. "Sorry for complaining. Feels better now."

"We've slept on worse. Remember the first time we…? All we had for a blanket was my coat."

Gippal smiled contemplatively. "Yeah. But that was different. After that, I could have been happy sleeping upside-down in a pit full of rabid tonberries." He nuzzled Baralai's chest, taking in his scent. "Mmm. Sex. Want now."

"We can't…" Baralai informed him, disappointment in his tone. "Unless you're fine with the possibility of the entire crew sighting your derriere."

"Quite fine." He found this amusing. "In fact, I think it would do them all a great deal of good!"

Baralai laughed, then heaved a sigh in mock-annoyance. "I don't know _why_ I deal with this. Honestly, I don't."

Gippal grinned. "Because you love me."

--- Past:

"Gippal…"

"Hmm?" He was semi-conscious of Baralai speaking to him.

Whether it was another one of his dreams that Baralai floated in and out of, he wasn't sure. These dreams had, oddly enough, never been sexual. At least not before last night, when they had first kissed. The dreams had usually been ordinary, with just he and Baralai talking about things. Simple things, really. Shapes of clouds. Ripples on water.

_They were sepia-colored halls, twisting, and he had no idea where the two of them were going. He was just following Baralai, who was in front of him, running and laughing playfully. Gradually, he caught up, and then Baralai turned to face him, brimming with liveliness. That's when Gippal reached to grab him –_ But he always woke up.

Last night, he finally caught him.

_The halls dissipated and were replaced with something else. Skin on skin. Desperate, breathy kisses… _

"Time to get up."

Gippal was convinced that there could be nothing better to wake up to than Baralai, with his tousled hair, eyes watery from sleep, and slightly out-of-it expression.

He was beautiful.

"Baralai." He raised his head and hooked an arm around Baralai's neck to bring him forward, then dropped himself back on the pillow. "I was wondering if…it was a dream."

"It wasn't."

A smirk. "Want to confirm that?"

Apparently, Baralai did, because he brushed his lips against Gippal's. Once. Twice. Before he could make another move, Gippal drew his bottom lip into his mouth and sucked, swirling patterns with the tip of his tongue. Then he –

The sound of knuckles rapping on wood. "Guys, come on!" Paine called from the other side of the door.

– flung himself as far away from Baralai as he could, eyes trained on the door.

"Are you even awake?" She exhaled loudly. "If you don't answer, I'm coming in to wake you up…"

The door creaked, and Paine stood there, looking somewhat amused. "I've never seen you like this before."

Gippal was suddenly curious as to how many hickeys were blatantly visible. But she didn't appear to be shocked…so it had to be the lack of hair gel and clothes she was referring to.

He really wasn't awake. Common sense had flown into a temporary hiding place.

"You have five minutes before Nooj leaves without you," Paine warned.

Baralai yawned. "Good morning to you as well…"

"Oh, I just _know_ Noojster couldn't live without us…" Gippal told her in a falsely hurt voice.

"Funny. Judging from what he's said, I seem to think otherwise," she retorted before leaving.

The pillow that he and Baralai had been using smacked into the door.

---

"E tuh'd ghuf fryd oui'na dnoehk du bnuja, Gippal, po tuehk drec. (I don't know what you're trying to prove, Gippal, by doing this.)" Anyata shook her head. "Pid ev oui drehg dra Yevonites femm cusaruf cdynd du keja y tysh ypuid dra Al Bhed… (But if you think the Yevonites will somehow start to give a damn about the Al Bhed…)"

"Ev E hajan duug necgc, E fuimt ryja bnupypmo teat po huf. Yht E fuimt ryja hajan sad oui. (If I never took risks, I would have probably died by now. And I would have never met you.)" It was easier to look at the floor than to face Anyata's disappointment head-on. "Dyga lyna uv ouincamv yht Neona. K'poa. (Take care of yourself and Neona. G'bye.)" He turned and headed for the door, where everyone else was waiting.

"Oh, Gippal!" she cried out, throwing her arms around his back. "Ev E veht uid dryd oui kud eh yho cund uv dnuipma yd ymm, E'mm lusa yht payd oui socamv! (If I find out that you got in any sort of trouble at all, I'll come and beat you myself!)"

"Heh. E muja oui, duu, Anyata. (I love you, too, Anyata.)"

When he began walking toward the door, he glimpsed Neona, who was peering out a window. "Neona, E's mayjehk huf… (Neona, I'm leaving now…)"

She continued to stare blankly ahead. "Yna oui kuehk frana Susso fahd? (Are you going where Mommy went?)"

He frowned, sensing her distress. "…Hu, Neona… E's lusehk pylg cusatyo. (…No, Neona… I'm coming back someday.)"

"Dryd'c fryd cra cyet. (That's what she said.)"

"Lusa rana… (Come here…)" Gippal beckoned to her and knelt down.

She listened to him, but her feet dragged as she walked.

"Pa y kuut kenm. Dyga lyna uv ouincamv yht mecdah du Anyata. (Be a good girl. Take care of yourself and listen to Anyata.)" He pulled her close and ruffled her hair. "Oui'na kuehk du pa ugyo. Muja oui. Poa. (You're going to be okay. Love you. Bye.)"

With one last wave, he left them.

---

With canteens full of fresh water and soup from Anyata, the time spent after leaving the outpost wasn't all that hard. There was the grueling heat, occasional bickering, and hordes of fiends, but to Gippal, that was all bearable. He knew that when night fell, he and Baralai would be taking advantage of the fact that their watches were back-to-back. This arrangement resulted in a dramatic decrease in sleep, but Gippal didn't care, and as far as he was aware, neither did Baralai. The mornings, however, like this particular one, gave them the most difficulty.

"Still sleeping."

"Paine…" Gippal mumbled into his sleeping bag. "Was that a question or a comment? It's hard to tell, y'know, when you normally don't put any inflection in your voice."

"You know what else is hard to tell?" she shot back. "How much longer I can put up with _you_. And maybe if you _listened_ once and awhile, you could tell that I _do_ put inflection in my voice. I just did it _three_ times, four if you count that. And it was a comment, by the way."

Gippal ignored her and stole a glance at Baralai, who was also resting.

"Mmm…" Baralai smiled into his sleeping bag. "Well, I'd say that she just showed y – Ah!"

"Hey!" Gippal protested as a very unsatisfied Nooj dumped him from his sleeping bag. He dusted sand off his face and looked around, trying to find Baralai.

His answer came when he eyed the source of the looming shadow above his head. Nooj was holding Baralai's bag by the end, but no Baralai had come out. Confusion, an emotion Gippal wasn't used to seeing flit across Nooj's face, was visibly attacking him now. Nooj bent down and waited. No Baralai.

"What…?" he grumbled. "Damnit, Baralai. Are you still in there?"

He received a squeak in response. Baralai's head poked out of the sleeping bag, complete with disheveled hair and wide eyes. His nails were tightly gripping the fabric inside of it, and his legs must have been pushing against the bag, preventing him from falling out. Baralai looked like a frightened bat inside of a cave. His eyes darted back and forth. He blinked.

It took Gippal and Paine almost three seconds of stunned silence before they burst out laughing.

Then Nooj swung him about, obviously not humored by all of this, and threw him a good eight feet or so.

"Ahhh, no! …Ouch."

---

The sunrise illuminated Baralai, painting a glowing outline, as he held the compass in various positions. "I'm eternally grateful that we only have to go north…and this automatically points in that direction."

"Couldn't be easier," Gippal agreed. He was lying on his back next to the morning fire, which normally cooked their breakfast.

"Except that we have no more food, and we're down to our last two matches." The worry was evident in Paine's voice.

"And something's wrong," Gippal spoke. "Don't you feel it?"

He received three empty looks for that one.

"What…do you mean?" Baralai asked.

"Well, Nooj. Isn't your leg and arm bothering you right about now?" He tilted his head back to observe Nooj's reaction, which he was sure would be bewildered or angry.

"That's…none of your business."

Or both. Nooj was a bit sensitive on the subject of either his arm or leg.

"The reason it feels like that is because something's coming. Something to do with the weather, probably, 'cause it's in the air," Gippal explained. "Could be a sandstorm."

No one said anything, so Gippal figured they all must have been thinking.

"So we should take shelter," Nooj finally muttered.

"What about that cave we passed a short time ago? We could go back there."

Gippal happened to think Baralai's idea was an excellent one.

---

It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

"Baralai! Where are you?!" Gippal called out over the roar of the wind. "Can't see anything through this sand…"

As if the sand was infuriated that he dared to complain, it blew under the hand held over his face and clogged up his nose.

"Ugh…!" He tried to snort it out.

"Gippal…"

"Baralai?" He whirled in circles but could see nothing. "Keep talking!"

"I think you're over this way…"

"Stick your arm out…" Gippal advised while putting out his own.

"I… I think I see you…"

A flash of green, and then something solid stumbled into him.

"Baralai!" Gippal shouted, wrapping his arms around him. "Where's everyone else?"

He gripped Gippal tightly. "I don't know… We should have held onto each other."

Gippal laughed. "Somehow, I don't think Nooj would agree to that…"

"He would if he foresaw this. If we could only find the cave and… Wait…"

"Our bags! Cred! (Shit!) I guess we left them…" Then something tough ground into Gippal's knuckles. Strangely enough, it felt like rock. "Ow." He shook his hand in an unsuccessful attempt to alleviate the pain. "That fucking hur – Hey, I think this is it!"

He didn't have to see Baralai's face to picture the disbelief on it. "Gippal… You're serious…?"

Gippal groped for his hand to prove that he was. After blindly crashing into the stone some more, he at last thought that they had come across the entrance. It was like sticking his head through a waterfall and into the area behind it. There was the screaming of sand…and then silence, save for the sounds of panting and gasps for air. He sat down and lowered his body to the cool cave floor, too tired to even explore their surroundings.

"What about Paine and Nooj?" Baralai asked, lying next to him, his brow starting to furrow like it constantly did when he worried. "And this could be a different cave."

Gippal let out a short laugh. "That'd be just great…" He rolled his head slightly to the side so that he could look at Baralai. "You worry too much. If you can't fix it now, there's no point in worrying at all."

"There are times when it can't be helped," Baralai spoke softly. "You looked worried to me."

"I know, it's crazy…" Gippal smiled, and it was almost sad. "It's just a stupid sandstorm. Paine and Nooj will pull out all right. I know they will. But you…make me feel things I shouldn't."

Brown eyes, spilling with emotion, searched him. "You're afraid?"

Startled, Gippal immediately opened his mouth to respond, but a clever answer was beyond his reach. "I – You – You're the same. You have to be." He knew that he was stammering, but he could never have anticipated this. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He had sworn to himself that he would never care enough for it to frighten him. "If I lost you…I would…" His gaze fell to the floor.

"Gippal…" Baralai's voice was closer to him now, breath gently beating on his face. "I felt the same, but I can't do that anymore. I know that I trust you. I think that's enough…" He moved close enough for his lips to graze Gippal's ear. "Even though I don't know what will happen in the days from now, I'm ready to let go…" He paused and brought a hand up to rest on the side of Gippal's face. "Are you?"

"Baralai…" Gippal was too overcome with that _feeling_ again, always that feeling. He glanced his lips over Baralai's skin, halting when he got to his mouth.

"Yes."

And felt himself fall.

Their kisses were different this time, more needy than usual, hungering and wanting more. He had had a necessity for Baralai before, but not quite like this. The slow incineration he was used to experiencing was quicker this time, devouring his senses and lighting his nerves on fire. It was hard-hitting and merciless.

Gippal dragged his mouth away, his desire for skin so strong that he could already taste it. He turned his attentions to the visible area of Baralai's chest below his collar and above his shirt, nibbling and licking. His hands journeyed up, untied the red rope securing Baralai's collar, and tried to tug off the coat. Unsuccessfully. There was that tie around his arm.

"What's the point of this thing?" Gippal questioned, fingers working to unknot it.

Baralai blinked as if coming out of a daze. "Oh, it… It was given to me by a maester at the Bevelle temple before I left for this training on account of something he told me I lacked. Hope."

"Do you still feel that way?" Gippal's fingers stilled, his eye moving up to meet Baralai's warm ones.

He smiled in that manner that made Gippal's stomach jolt and his heart stop. "Not so much anymore."

Gippal knew that the implications were there, that it was meant for him. He wanted to say something in response, but hands were slipping up his shirt, tracing over the contours of his spine. A shiver coursed through him, making him work all the harder to undo the aggravating tie. At last, it came free, and Baralai stopped his discovering to let Gippal pull the coat sleeves off.

He kissed Gippal, unbuckling the strap that held the armor on his shoulders, stripped off his gloves, and slid the yellow straps off so that they hung by Gippal's knees. Baralai was quickly divested of the leather armor tied around his waist and the white shirt underneath that, and Gippal lifted his arms up to have his shirt yanked over his head, resulting in them being chest to chest.

For a moment, they rested like that, breathing heavily, and then Gippal realized they were lightly rocking against each other. He wrapped his arms around Baralai's back and felt his hands drifting lower, seeking a waistband to dip under. Beneath undershorts, he began to knead muscle. Baralai jerked a little at this, sharply sucking in air. It was different from a girl, Gippal mused, because it was firmer, and there was less – actually, no – fat to grasp. Baralai's skin was very…smooth. He liked this better.

Baralai kissed his way down Gippal's neck and his chest, where he swirled his tongue around a rosy nipple. He blew on it, bringing his fingers up to pluck at the other one.

"Ahnn… Baralai…"

Gippal instinctively shifted to transfer the burning hardness between his legs to a more suitable place and bumped into something equally hard. He gasped, throwing his head back and cracking it into the cave floor.

"Ow!" He rubbed the back of his head and laughed sheepishly.

Baralai did the same, though it sounded more breathless than his usual laughter. He cradled the small of Gippal's back, causing him to arch accordingly.

"Gippal… Are you…all right with this?" His eyes were concerned, staring into Gippal's face, most likely looking for any signs of apprehension.

All along, Gippal had had an inkling of where this was going. And now that they were there, he knew what his answer would be. "Yeah… I'm ready."

Shaking hands unbuckled the belt around his waist, and Gippal thought on this for a second before he noticed his own trembling. The need taking over his body was deteriorating his ability to stay still. He reached for Baralai's pants but came upon a mass of intertwined lacing.

"Uhh… Baralai?"

Baralai smiled at him. "I'll get it…"

He seemed to have no trouble, so Gippal tugged the rest of his own clothing off, including his boots. He even had time to help Baralai with his.

"You don't wear underwear," Baralai observed.

"No. It feels kinda uncomfortable to me." Gippal grinned. "But you do… Plain white. Hmm."

A vivid shade of red burst underneath dark skin. "Well, I could never wear hearts."

"Heh, neither could I…" He cautiously pulled the undershorts down, making sure they didn't snag on anything. "White down here, too? I was curious about that…"

"Gippal!" Blushing terribly, Baralai laughed with him and kicked off his undershorts, gripping Gippal's hips unsteadily. "Don't we need…?"

"Lube?" Gippal guessed. At Baralai's nod, he moved downward, treating Baralai's stomach to wet, open-mouthed kisses, trailing lower and lower…

"Ah!"

Fingers tangled in his hair, encouraging him. He closed his mouth around Baralai's erection, somewhat uncertain of how to go about this but sure that some sucking and licking wouldn't hurt. Gippal was pleased to find he didn't mind the taste at all, which was like the rest of Baralai's skin, only saltier. He lapped at the underside, reveling in the beat of Baralai's pulse against his tongue.

Baralai's arms were becoming a bit wobbly, as if they wouldn't be able to hold him up much longer, and no wonder, as he was above Gippal. In order to prevent his collapse, Gippal gently pushed him up and situated himself on top of Baralai. He didn't want to go very deep, at least not this first time, worried that his gag reflex might kick in. Unwittingly, he started humming an old Al Bhed song, like he often did when attempting to concentrate.

"Nnn!" Baralai cried out.

And then he _did_ choke. Rubbing his sore throat, he teasingly glared at Baralai, who was guilty of thrusting with a little too much enthusiasm.

"Sorry." Baralai curled his body upward and planted an apologetic kiss on Gippal's forehead.

"Well, it should be fine now…" Gippal told him, rolling off to the side. "Except…one thing…" He caught Baralai's wrist and slipped a tan finger in his mouth, twirling his tongue around it to moisten it as much as he possibly could, all while curling his fingers around Baralai's sex. Amidst the moans he got in response, his own voice added a "There."

He guided hands between his legs and then positioned his own on Baralai's backside again, waiting for him.

Something – Baralai's finger – pushed into him, and he reflexively bit his lip. "Unnh…"

"It hurts?" Baralai was biting his own lip with him.

"No…" Gippal shook his head. "It feels…weird but not bad exactly. Maybe try moving it around…"

Baralai did so, and – _unexplainable_ –

He writhed, letting out a shout. Whatever Baralai had touched in him, it made his insides twist and his control shatter. Pleasure had completely possessed him.

"I didn't mean to hurt you…" Baralai gazed at him concernedly.

Despite the anxious look on Baralai's face, he couldn't help but allow a giddy laugh to escape. "That didn't _hurt_, Baralai…"

"Oh." Relief washed over his features.

"Do it again…" Gippal urged. "Please…"

Baralai acquiesced to the request, bending down for a kiss at the same time. Another finger, hitting the same spot…

"Uhhnn… Oh, bmayca (please)…" He couldn't take much more of this before he – "Baralai, please just…"

His legs were quaking as Baralai bent them up. They were really going to…

"Can I take this off?" A hand rested on the strap of his eye patch. "I…want to see you…"

"If I can take this off," Gippal replied, clutching Baralai's blue headband. He had been growing more at ease with Baralai looking at him without his eye patch (but there was still no chance when it came to other people).

As soon as both items fluttered to the floor, Baralai's shaking hands traveled down to cup Gippal's bottom and pressed forward so that Gippal felt him _there_.

"Gippal."

He could only swallow, stay locked in Baralai's eyes. That connection didn't break, not even as Baralai finally pushed into him.

"Oh…" He winced, breath catching in his throat. It was an odd sensation, being filled and stretched this way, but at the same time, it was a delicious one.

They were part of each other, sharing something wholly theirs, and it was new for both of them.

Baralai was acting like he had a wound, clenching his eyes shut, struggling for oxygen. He swung his head up, panting at the same time. "It's…really tight… Are you okay?"

"Give me a sec," Gippal managed to grind out. "Yeah. You can…go ahead…" He could tell Baralai was still hesitant, so he wriggled his hips –

"Ahn!"

And hesitation was no more.

Baralai's hand began to pump Gippal in unison with their thrusts, making him abandon all other thoughts. He could only feel this now…here with him… Gippal pushed down, aware of his fingernails digging into Baralai, the sweat slicking the space between them, the soft noises of want escaping…

Gippal slipped a hand behind Baralai's neck and encouraged him forward so they could kiss. Baralai's pace slowed down to match that of their exploring tongues. Gippal wanted more, chest hitching as they broke apart. Baralai took his time, going in deeply and then drawing himself almost all the way out. Captivated by his eyes, Gippal squirmed beneath him. A different angle, and he was mindlessly thrashing, clenching muscles surrounding Baralai's length. Baralai groaned, driving into him faster with more force.

"Baralai…" That spot again, and Gippal couldn't stop himself from arching and moaning helplessly. "Please, ryntan (harder)… Nnn…"

The heat became more intense, and he just couldn't _take_ –

"Mnnm!"

– it anymore.

Gippal spilled onto their stomachs, slicking up the space between them and making it hotter.

Baralai's thrusts were more erratic now, along with his breathing, and Gippal could tell how close he was. His fingertips quavered as they brushed against the delicate, dark skin of inner thighs.

Baralai came with a quiet exhalation, flooding Gippal with warmth, and almost crashed onto Gippal's chest. This display of exhaustion made Gippal realize how tired his own body was. He was grateful for how slowly Baralai pulled out, because he wanted to lengthen the feeling of Baralai being inside him as long as he could. And besides that, any sudden moves might hurt. He was sore, no denying that, but it was definitely worth it.

They nestled side by side on the cave floor that had once been cool but was now quite heated as a result of their activities. Baralai leaned over to grab his coat and pulled it over them.

"Nights here are cold," he murmured.

Gippal nuzzled his ear and pressed a kiss there. "Mmm… You're not."

A laugh. Then Baralai was suddenly serious. "Gippal… How do you feel?"

"Sticky."

Baralai still had enough energy to give him a gentle push. But he was smiling.

---

A/N: Next chapter: Traversing the desert ends, and other things begin.


	5. Yellow

Disclaimer: Square owns 'em. I just write this fic containing them.

A/N: Out of the desert at last? Nope. It veered, I say. My mistake! XD 'Nother lemon in this chapter. I thought it would be interesting for them to swap roles… :D

Thanks to: JokaJoker (You psychic person, you! How did you guess that they would eventually see…? XD), Jade Samurai (Say goodbye to blasphemy! Bwahahaha!), Icicle Goddess, Slave Monkey, Nanashi2, Slash Fanatic, SakuraBubbles the Muffin Child (Thanks for letting me know about the "…" I fixed them up right away so they wouldn't be as big of a pain in the arse. And would you like an egg?), Yuuka Yagami (Sleeping bags everywhere thank you as well.), BBchan (Y'know, I went back, read the lemon scene, and agreed! Thanks for inspiring me to _length_en it – Oh, another pun! XD), Wai Aki, Kirie Himuro, Shinnyu Kudzu (Wow, I'm not that good! There are other really great ones! But thank you very much.), yuyemi 01 (Broken heart? Sorry… I'm glad this counts as a remedy, though.), Capitan Shibby (Brussel sprouts aren't bad, but prune juice…I have never had. As long as it's not grapefruit – Ack!), Hidama (I'm glad you liked it! I'm a big fan of your story…), Kaji the Harlequin (I love yous, too.), and Liebchen.

Chapter Five – Yellow

"Sticky!" Rikku exclaimed, sucking on her fingers to get the pancake syrup off.

Gippal buttered two pieces of toast and gave one to Baralai, who sent him a smile as thanks. "I was wondering… Is something wrong with the ship?"

The other crew members at or around the bar stared at him.

"Noooo!" Brother howled. "Are you insulting my ship?!"

Gippal attempted to swallow a laugh and failed. Brother sometimes produced a clan of wild, enraged monkeys in his mind. "No, I just thought…I dunno, it would go faster?"

"It's not as fast as some people think," Buddy explained.

"But it's fast enough to get us to Spira so you guys can give a speech," Yuna declared, sitting down with a plate of eggs.

Baralai spit out his coffee in a very undignified manner.

"What?!" Gippal had gone from relaxed to extremely anxious. "This is kinda on short notice, don't you think?"

Baralai nodded, searching for napkins to wipe the mess up and finding them behind the bar.

"I agree," Nooj stated. "And we don't have a speech prepared, either."

"You don't need a speech!" Rikku cheerfully insisted. "Just make it up!"

"In front of all of Spira…" Baralai groaned, pushing his plate away. "I… I can't do this…"

"Are you okay?" Yuna asked, peering at him concernedly.

Gippal immediately knew what was wrong. "He has a fear of speaking in front of people, even though he's the Praetor…" He patted Baralai on the back reassuringly. "C'mon, just picture someone running out in the crowd in a chocobo suit," he advised.

"No, Gippal!" Baralai protested. "Then I'll _laugh_ in front of everyone."

"I can see the headlines now: Praetor laughs at speech –"

"Gippal…! You're teasing me…"

Gippal smirked. "Wouldn't be the first time."

Baralai reddened, well aware of the hidden innuendo, and gave him a _look_.

"Paine, are you just going to sit back and let this happen? Don't you have any responsibility in you at all?" Gippal prodded her arm.

"Don't start," she muttered. "Or else I may tell everyone here about your embarrassing secrets. Like how you talk in your sleep about stuffed cactuars or wear lipstick –"

"I do _not_ wear lipstick!" Gippal shouted hotly. "That was completely nonconsensual!"

Yuna and Rikku cracked up, while the rest of the crew seemed to be attacked by a case of the twitches.

"You really don't seem the type…" Yuna kidded.

"I swear! They held me down!"

Paine went on, "And the tent, when we walked in on –"

"Never. Happened," Nooj interrupted. "Never."

"You swore you'd never speak of that!" Gippal yelled accusingly at Paine.

"Because it never happened," Nooj repeated.

"Did we…scar you that badly…?" Baralai looked amused.

"No. It never happened."

Paine shook her head. "He's in denial. Can you blame him?"

Gippal grinned. "You make it out like Baralai and I weren't victims at all…"

"You weren't."

"Never happened."

"Um… _What_ never happened?" Rikku questioned. "…Paine?"

She sighed. "It's better off you don't know."

"But Paine –"

"Respect points," Paine simply reminded, effectively silencing her.

--- Past:

"Gippal… We have to get dressed. Wake up…"

He opened his eye a crack and yawned. "Baralai…? Why?"

"Because," Baralai told him, smiling, "if we don't and Paine and Nooj…"

"Oh, right!" Gippal sprang up and smacked into Baralai. "Ahh!"

Baralai rubbed his forehead with Gippal. "Good morning…"

They laughed together, limbs intertwined and breath mixing. Gippal thought it was nice, comfortable, and he bent up to claim Baralai's mouth with his own. Running his tongue over Baralai's, he forgot completely about dressing.

"Gippal… We have to –" He was cut off when Gippal tackled him to the cave floor.

"Yeah? You were saying?" Gippal nibbled his ear.

"If they walk in right now, they'll see you absolutely naked…"

"So?" He enveloped an earlobe in his mouth.

"Ah… You won't say that if it happens…" Baralai briefly touched his lips to Gippal's but then dragged them away. "Mm… Clothes."

To Gippal's amazement, they were in every possible direction – on rocks, near the entrance, behind them…

"Whoa." Gippal blinked.

"I wasn't thinking about where these were going at the time…"

Crawling over to his pants, Gippal had to agree.

---

"That song you were humming yesterday… I was wondering, what is it?" Baralai pulled on his remaining boot and gave Gippal a curious glance.

Gippal was strapping on his shoulder armor. "The one that made you almost impale me?" He beamed good-naturedly.

Baralai reddened. "Yes…"

"It's just what I remembered at the time."

Baralai looked like he wanted to push it further, even opening his mouth, but Gippal turned away from him abruptly. He wouldn't tell him the words. It was far too romantic of a song. No matter what they had recently done, Gippal wasn't about to push that on him.

"I'm really hungry right now," Gippal announced, trying to change the subject. "Let's catch some food."

"How would we go about that?" The expression on Baralai's face said that he was aware of Gippal's tactics but had decided not to keep at it.

"Rats."

"What's wrong?" Baralai must have thought he was saying "rats" in the place where a swear word would normally drop in from his vocabulary.

"No, I mean we _eat_ the rats." Gippal was delighted with this new proposal.

Baralai didn't seem so keen on it at all. "They could be infected, and then there's the whole business of catching them in the first place…"

"But they taste great!"

---

And so, they ended up on their stomachs at the entrance of the cave, keeping a lookout for rats. Gippal found that his eye patch also doubled as a sling.

"Gippal…" Baralai laughed.

"What? It has to come in handy for something else besides sitting there." To demonstrate, he snatched a rock from the pile in between them and placed it on the part of the patch that would usually cover his eye. It flew…and there was loud thudding and a squeak. "We got one! Yeah!"

"I don't know if Paine or Nooj will want to eat these…"

Gippal stood up, brushed himself off, and offered a hand to Baralai. "Even if they won't…that means more for us!"

"Should we just tie their tails to the stick, as if we went fishing?" Baralai inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Gippal was confused. "…Fish tied to a stick?" He scratched at the skin above his belt, reminded of the bodily substances there and the absence of much-needed bathing water to wash them off.

"With fish, you tie them up…" Baralai started to explain.

He had a lot of explaining to do. There weren't very many fish in the desert.

---

Two shapes shimmered in the distance.

"Hey!" Gippal shouted, waving his arms. "_Hey_!"

Baralai did the same, and Paine and Nooj came up to them, with slightly less enthusiasm.

"I hope you had fun without us," Paine told them, voice heavy with sarcasm.

"Oh, yeah… We had _lots_ of fun…" Gippal smirked pointedly at Baralai, who pretended to check his nails for embedded sand.

"Do you have our sleeping bags?" Baralai asked worriedly.

"I thought you had them," Nooj disclosed.

"Cred! (Shit!)" Gippal cursed.

"I suppose you'll have to find other ways to keep warm…" Nooj chuckled, already walking back the way he had come.

Gazing at Baralai, Gippal could think of plenty.

---

Gippal ducked down and examined the object in the sand. He couldn't believe it… "A tacand nuca (desert rose)."

"It's just a flower. We have to move." Nooj generally didn't boss him around this much, but they were only a day or two away from the completion of their "mission" in the desert.

Gippal had repeatedly expressed that what was a "mission" to some was "bullshit" to others. Sending them out in the desert had been ridiculous, and he hadn't learned any new combat skills at all. What he had learned was from Baralai.

"Are you kidding me?!" Gippal exclaimed. "Some people would pay 30,000 gil for one of these! They're pretty rare… I've never even seen one before."

Interest apparently piqued, Baralai crouched down next to him and studied it. He was followed by Paine.

"Its only color is yellow." Gippal's fingers brushed up against the stalk. He gasped and jerked his hand away. A small bead of blood grew on his fingertip, a drop of vivid red.

"That's what you get for stalling…" Nooj warned.

"Yeah, well…" He stuck the injured finger in his mouth and sucked on it. "Here." Gippal broke the stalk with his other hand, careful this time to avoid the thorns. He handed it to Baralai, who eyed it quizzically. "Use it for medicine," he clarified.

Really, he thought such a rarity belonged with Baralai.

---

"Gippal, wake up." A hand nudged him. "Come on… You must have been having a nightmare."

Or not. As Gippal recalled, it had been an extraordinarily pleasant dream involving himself and Baralai, though it did nothing to alleviate the biting desert cold. Even the fire couldn't help with that.

"What makes you think that?" He rolled onto his stomach to hide the obvious tent in his pants. Paine and Nooj were right there. The thought of doing anything in front of them was horrid to begin with, and even it hadn't been, there was always the risk of getting caught.

Baralai frowned. "You were…making noises…" He crawled over to where Gippal lay. "Gippal?"

"Is it my watch yet?" Gippal tried desperately to concentrate on unarousing things – an enraged zu, moldy cheese, that terrible snoring Nooj was capable of and was now showcasing – but to no avail. Baralai's breath down his neck was complicating things.

"Your watch is before mine. You never forget that…" Baralai gripped his shoulder and turned him over. "Oh." The look of worry on his face was rapidly changing into one of amusement. "Gippal, you could have said something."

"They're right here," he pointed out, his voice down to a whisper.

To his surprise, Baralai stood up and tugged his arm gently. "There's a sand dune over there…"

His pulse quickened at the very idea.

Then they were running, laughing, falling in the sand. Gippal had tripped over himself, an event he frequently experienced, and as they were holding hands, they both stumbled. Baralai didn't appear to mind at all, pulling him up and into a kiss. Tangling a hand in Baralai's soft hair, he tasted him almost fiercely, nipping at his bottom lip, rememorizing the ridges and hills of his mouth in an instant. Somehow, they managed to fall behind the sand dune. Actually, _a_ sand dune. He had little knowledge of how they had ended up here.

His back smacked into the sand, but the wind didn't truly get knocked out of his chest until Baralai began the process of unbuckling and unstrapping. There was the sound of a zipper opening _slowly_, the pop of the button on his pants… His reaction was immediate. So was the cold.

A shiver ran through his body. "Cold…"

"What kind of dream did you have?"

Baralai's warm breath beat on his erection with the question, and his lips could scarcely form the answer as a result.

"It was…ahnn…" A moan slipped out. "…nice…"

Fingers wrapped around the base of his length and were now smoothly gliding up and down. Baralai pressed gentle, chaste-but-not-chaste kisses to his thighs, brushed his thumb over the tip and smeared the fluid gathering there –

"Ah!"

Gippal brought one hand to his mouth and used the other to hang onto the back of Baralai's neck. The mouth surrounding him was hot, intensely so, forcing him to clamp teeth down on one of his fingers. He felt every minute sensation, the pressure, the rolling of Baralai's tongue… Gippal's movements gained a more even rhythm, one that he made sure wasn't too rough or difficult for Baralai to keep up with.

Watching Baralai was a turn-on in itself. Their eyes met, and smiling mischievously, Baralai dipped his tongue into the slit at Gippal's tip.

Gippal lost it.

A sound between a growl and a groan tripped out of his mouth, and he arched and succumbed completely to instinct. Baralai _was_ able to keep up for the most part, which surprised Gippal, because he had lost all threads of control and was sure Baralai had never done this before.

The heat held him captive, feeding on his emotions and nerves like kindle. He couldn't escape, didn't want to. Pleasure tightened its hold on him, closed in…

"Nnn!"

He sucked in air as Baralai swallowed and made a pondering face at the taste.

"Bad…?" Gippal panted, grinning.

"It's a little strange but not exactly bad…" He raised an eyebrow and with mock-indignation remarked, "But you accuse _me_ of impaling _you_?"

Letting out a short laugh, Gippal yanked Baralai's coat, causing him to tumble into waiting arms. "You have some by the corner of your mouth…" He licked it off and decided it was a weird yet not entirely undesirable taste. His hands framed Baralai's flushed face and felt his ears, his jaw, his lips.

He wished that it was possible for him to say something. Even with the moon as his only light, he was able to just make out Baralai's features, his expression of wanting and knowing, cutting deeper than physically. Baralai was dearer to him than anyone he had ever known. Out in the desert, they had been hungry, thirsty, cold, and tired, but he was the happiest he had ever been. How could he tell Baralai all this in words?

Gippal mused that there were other ways to tell him, possessing his mouth, tasting himself on Baralai's tongue. He was in an awkward situation with his pants around his ankles, but he could cope with it enough to grab Baralai and pin him to the ground.

"Gippal…"

He was intoxicating. Parted lips, heavy-lidded eyes…

The red cord around Baralai's neck was untied, armband tossed aside, coat shrugged off. Those dark curves of his collarbone were flawless, inviting. Gippal lightly bit and savored the skin there, cherishing the gasps and other tiny noises Baralai was emitting. Marks would likely be left behind, but he couldn't see them developing now in the blackness. He undid the leather armor at Baralai's waist and bunched his shirt up above his chest. Gippal slid a hand up his stomach and started rubbing tan, firm nipples. Another quiet noise breezed by his ear.

The other traveled to the area in need of attention between Baralai's legs. Gippal kneaded him through the fabric of his pants, taking advantage of a bared throat and trembling himself at the hands caressing his back. They drifted lower, cupping muscle and squeezing in time with his ministrations.

"Pants. Off."

He scratched uselessly at the waistband until Baralai stopped distracting him and offered assistance, fumbling as well with the irksome laces.

"Boots or no boots?" Gippal questioned. The pants and undershorts had come as far as they could, hindered by said boots. "It's cold."

"I don't mind. It'll be easier if you take them off…"

Gippal nodded, unable to speak when he thought about what Baralai was referring to. What _he_ was going to do. He was struck by the trust in Baralai's eyes and the complexity of his own emotions.

The boots thumped into the sand in a length of time that definitely counted as a record for Gippal. He'd never shucked boots off so quickly in his life. Baralai's knees were shaking against the side of his face, the velvety skin behind them irresistible. Gippal's tongue darted out of his mouth to skate around the backside of a knee, retreating only to allow his lips to graze the tender flesh.

"Gippal!" Baralai's leg jerked uncontrollably, almost pegging Gippal in the head.

"Sensitive there?" He flashed a grin at Baralai.

Baralai smiled. "Almost everyone is. I'll prove it to you someday."

"Prove it now?" Gippal shifted up and pressed his body to Baralai's, breath wavering at the warmth and hardness he found there.

"Right now, I'd rather… Nnmm…" Baralai writhed, incapable of speech for a moment. "What…are you doing?"

Gippal was scrounging in the pockets of the pants around his boots, searching. "Tada…" He fished out a bottle of cooking oil.

Baralai's mouth dropped open as he beheld Gippal's prized possession. "Gippal, Paine would _kill_ you if she discovered where that really went!"

"She won't find out." Gippal smirked and peeled off his gloves with his teeth, uncapping the bottle and spreading its contents over his hands.

Baralai lifted up his head and watched. "Shouldn't we conserve that?"

"Yeah," Gippal agreed, "but for reasons other than cooking."

It looked like Baralai's face grew hotter, if that was possible.

"Baralai… Are you all right?" Gippal checked for any signals of unease.

"Yes."

"Okay, relax… This might feel kind of funny…"

This was only the second time they had done this, but Gippal had always been told that he was a quick learner. Besides, how could he forget?

A slicked finger carefully pushed into Baralai. He stiffened, breath stilling. Gippal felt muscles tightly clench around his finger, and he wondered how he was going to fit another finger in there, let alone…

"Hey, you can breathe…" he told Baralai reassuringly, resting a palm on his chest.

Baralai's ribs began to rise and fall again hesitantly, and he smiled at Gippal. "I'm…all right."

"Good…" He wriggled his finger more, eliciting a soundless cry from Baralai. Guessing it was where Baralai had touched him before, he added another digit and moved the two fingers in synchronized motion. Baralai bucked and gritted his teeth, bending his back as far as it could go. Gippal continued, stunned by how absolutely beautiful Baralai was.

"Nnnn…" Baralai twisted and clutched Gippal's wrist. "Please… I want…"

Understanding and drowning in need, Gippal retracted his fingers and gripped Baralai's lean hips, positioning himself. "Baralai…" He captured Baralai's mouth with his own, thrusting forward at the same time, muffling Baralai's voice. Gently exploring with his tongue and smoothing white hair comfortingly, Gippal attempted to block out the instincts seizing his body.

But it was so hard to. Baralai was wonderfully tight and hot around him… Just when he thought he couldn't hold off any longer, Baralai pulled away and stared into his eyes honestly.

"Gippal, you can…" he trailed off.

Gippal placed a kiss on the tip of Baralai's nose and clasped his hips and erection. He established a leisurely pace with his thrusts, trying to soak in all he could.

Baralai moaned, eyelashes fluttering, pulse racing, and Gippal experienced a wave of belonging. This was right. Caring this much… It had to be. Baralai was everything to him, and it should scare him, but there was no fear.

Only a sense of peace and…

He drove in and out faster, hitting that spot again and again, wanting more. Baralai held him in tighter, and in return, the hand around Baralai's sex squeezed harder, matching their rhythm.

Blinding heat, dizzying… Occasional pleading in his ear and his own words…

Baralai went rigid, a sigh escaping as his body shook and became lax.

"Baralai… Baralai…" Gippal murmured, because nothing could be sweeter than what he had just witnessed.

Baralai supported him by the waist, thumbs slipping in the semen on his stomach. Gippal gazed into his tired, content face and –

A guttural groan slid out of his throat as he sank into Baralai, trembling with the force that his release hit him. Pulling out, he set his forehead on Baralai's and softly kissed his lips.

"I'm not cold anymore," Gippal informed him.

"Neither am I," Baralai replied with a slight laugh.

Gippal laid his head on Baralai's chest, thinking it would be lovely to just stay like this. Reality was already calling him back, but he temporarily shut it out.

"Oh… I can hear your heart…" It was still recovering from exertion, beating rapidly, but it was a powerful echo. He was astonished by such simple music, and yet, he knew it to be more than simple. "E muja oui… (I love you…)"

Just like that. Just like that, he had said it.

They both froze, and Gippal instantly hoped Baralai wasn't recalling too much of his earlier Al Bhed lessons. By process of elimination, he could figure out the middle word…

"Gippal…" Baralai was unreadable.

Gippal jerked away as if burned, fumbling for his pants, belt, and shoulder armor.

"Wait –"

Baralai reached out for him, but he dodged effectively and scrambled up the sand dune. He wasn't thinking, just knowing he might have messed it all up. Why did he have to say it? It was true that he felt that way, but that didn't mean he had to –

"Gippal, stop…"

He whirled around at the hand on his back, giving up getting away, because Baralai obviously had him now.

"Why did you run? You didn't even give me a chance to…"

Fingertips were pressing up on his chin, but he didn't want to meet Baralai's eyes. There was a possibility of getting hurt by looking into their depths.

Filling his lungs with air, he spared a glance to see…compassion, thoughtfulness, truth.

"I…love you, Gippal," Baralai whispered. "I love you."

He couldn't say a thing. But somehow, he knew it was all right.

Baralai enfolded him in an affectionate embrace, brushing his lips against Gippal's.

_Everything_ was all right.

---

"We should be running into the ships soon," Nooj notified them.

"I was getting used to the desert, too," Gippal stated. "Seriously."

They climbed another hill, and there they were. The ships. Months of struggling with sleep deprivation, cold, little water and food…

"We're saved!" Gippal cried. "Saved!"

He sprinted toward the ships. As he ran, he could have sworn Paine muttered, "He was getting used to it?"

Gippal was already imagining himself taking a shower.

---

A/N: Wow, that completely had a mind of its own. Sorry that I didn't get to the camp. Gippal and Baralai just couldn't keep their paws off each other…

Next chapter: The camp. I mean it! Now that the ships have been sighted, there's no way they can be in the desert anymore.


	6. Reaction

Disclaimer: I own FFX-2 not. Square does.

A/N: I have a vague outline of where this is going, but don't trust me anymore when I say what will be in the next chapter. XD I have a tendency to be unsure about chapter length and what I can fit.

Thanks to: JokaJoker (He's still traumatized… XD), Jade Samurai, Icicle Goddess, Wai-Aki (Glad you experienced the first sentence in a positive fashion! XD), Mashimaro-Byul-012, SakuraBubbles the Muffin Child, Hidama (I speak no French, but…Spanish! Quiero queso.), MalaConaKierKiar, Cookie Cowgirl, Kirie Himuro (Nooj thanks you for your kind laughter. XD), and Yuuka Yagami.

Chapter Six – Reaction

He hadn't been able to stop himself. Once he had imagined himself in the shower with Baralai, the fact that this wasn't his or Baralai's ship had no longer mattered.

Baralai had declined politely (though it had been in a strained voice), telling him that it seemed to be…kind of bad manners to have wild, uninhibited sex in someone else's shower without them knowing.

Baralai, while almost always firm in his decisions, occasionally caved into Gippal's requests.

Which had led to this disaster. All right, so maybe Gippal was mainly to blame…

"It's official." Gippal heaved a loud, irritated sigh and told Baralai, "Some yccruma (asshole) stole our clothes."

The only part of Baralai that was visible was his head poking out of the shower stall, soaked. His teeth began to chatter. "Damnit…"

He rarely swore, except when things got really bad. Gippal had to admit, now definitely qualified as one of those times.

"My thoughts exactly, Baralai…" Gippal agreed. "Should I stick my head out the door and yell?" He shivered, chilly, and pictured how comical he must look strutting around completely naked. Yes, sticking his head out the door was _all_ he was going to do.

"No, don't!" Baralai shook his head. "They'll see us, then…"

"But we can't just sit here…"

Baralai slid down the tile wall behind him and drew his knees up to his chest, his back slicking up with water again. "I know, but if there was only some way of getting out things back without drawing unwanted attention… It would make them angry, I think."

"Angry? Who?" Gippal sat next to him, close enough to receive some warmth from Baralai's skin.

"Everyone. Although Nooj is quite traumatized…to this day…" Baralai nestled his head in the crook of Gippal's neck. "Anyone else could have stolen our clothes as a joke."

"I don't see towels anywhere," Gippal suddenly noticed. "That's weird. You think there'd be –"

As if on cue, the bathroom door swung open, and Yuna walked in, face obscured by a pile of fluffy, white towels. Gippal and Baralai could only stare, stock-still.

"Ah –!" Gippal started. He didn't know what could cover this.

"Hm?" Yuna moved the towels aside. She immediately shrieked and whirled around, clapping a hand over her mouth and clenching her eyes shut. The towels flew in the air and landed in random areas.

"There are the towels," Gippal mumbled, turning red.

"I…apologize, Lady Yuna," Baralai managed, his face turning a shade similar to Gippal's. "Our clothes are missing…"

"I see that… What –? What –?" she stammered.

"Someone stole our clothes," Baralai explained. "Can you get them back?"

"But – But, oh, I have to pee!"

Baralai blinked.

"Can you hold it?" Gippal pleaded in a low voice. "Please, please, please, plea –"

"Okay," she cut him off. "But why are you two…?"

"We were taking a shower, and there were no towels, which is why we're sitting here." Gippal was getting a bit exasperated. He just wanted his clothes, and he had a feeling where this was going.

"There's only one shower."

"We were both really _dirty_." Gippal smirked at Baralai, who mouthed his name in what would have been a shout, had he given sound to it. He grinned. "Baralai, E vaam tendo ymm ujan ykyeh. Melg sa lmayh? (Baralai, I feel dirty all over again. Lick me clean?)"

This time, Baralai was more vocal. "Gippal!" Blushing deeply, he shot Gippal what was supposed to be a cautioning look but came out as more of an adorable pout.

"E tuipd cra ghufc Al Bhed. (I doubt she knows Al Bhed.)"

A short, uncomfortable silence.

"I'll find your clothes if you'll be in the shower when I come back," Yuna conceded.

"Deal." Gippal considering shaking on it, but he _was_ naked, after all.

---

"Go see Rikku."

"What?" Gippal asked, puzzled, as he snatched the items thrown through the shower. One of his boots hit him in the head. "Ow, hey!"

"By the way, I know Al Bhed."

Gippal exchanged an alarmed look with Baralai and peeked out of the shower stall. Yuna was gone.

---

Rikku was on one of the three beds in the cabin, sobbing noisily. Gippal was confused, but then a thought struck him out of nowhere. What if…?

He sat down on the edge of the bed. Baralai was waiting outside the cabin, having told Gippal that he didn't know Rikku as well as Gippal did. At the creaking of the bed, Rikku sat up and coughed weakly. She realized it was him and appeared to be…stunned. Her skin was red, eyes bleary with tears, hair mussed…

"Rikku?" It was all he could think of saying. He had no idea what was going on, and it bewildered him. There was a chance she was upset about…

"Do you love him?" she ground out.

He hated being right. At least in this case.

"Yes," he answered, awkwardly fingering the blanket on the bed. "Very much."

It was the truth. What was he supposed to say? But judging from the expression on Rikku's face, that was not what she wanted to hear. Reaching forward, she yanked him by his shirt and…

…kissed him.

Startled, Gippal automatically tried to bite down but had to stop and remind himself that this was Rikku. It was an unwanted kiss, yes, but she was not a violent, disgusting attacker. Not a sick maniac trying to have fun with him. Not a bigot blaming sexual attraction to Gippal on the belief that all Al Bhed were naturally sluts.

Every mouth but Baralai's was strange to him, foreign, unwelcome. He could kiss Baralai blindfolded and still know it was him. In fact, it would be easy for him, going by not just how Baralai kissed but by his taste and scent as well.

Gippal shoved Rikku away, teeth almost snapping shut on his own tongue. She curled into a ball at the head of the bed, crying again.

"You don't know…what it was…like…hearing you and…" She sniffled and stopped weeping in what appeared to be an attempt to compose herself. "Oui mat sa uh! Oui hajan cyet oui fana kyo! (You led me on! You never said you were gay!)"

"I'm not. I'm bisexual. And it doesn't even matter… That gave you no right to steal our clothes!" It was unbelievable that he was having this conversation with Rikku. He never thought she felt this way. "Oui fana mega y meddma cecdan du sa! E fych'd maytehk oui uh yd ymm! (You were like a little sister to me! I wasn't leading you on at all!)"

"Oayr? Oui bnupypmo tuhd ajah muja res. Oui bnupypmo zicd fyhd – (Yeah? You probably don't even love him. You probably just want –)"

"Oui ryja hu vilgehk lmia ypuid fryd E fyhd! (You have no fucking clue about what I want!)" Gippal interrupted heatedly. For Rikku to imply that… "Cu crid ib! E vamd pyt vun oui, pid huf, hu fyo! (So shut up! I felt bad for you, but now, no way!)"

"E cruimt mekrd ouin ryen uh vena! E cruimt bimm ouin ihtanfayn ib! E cruimt payd oui fedr y nyf, raytmacc lrelgah! (I should light your hair on fire! I should pull your underwear up! I should beat you with a raw, headless chicken!)" Rikku yelled.

"E tuhd fayn ihtanfayn! Yht payd sa fedr ymm dra lrelgahc oui fyhd, ed fuhd syga sa lyna vun oui suna! (I don't wear underwear! And beat me with all the chickens you want, it won't make me care for you more!)" he shot back.

"Leave," Rikku ordered coldly.

"Fine. I'd be glad to!" Gippal flung himself off the bed and strode furiously out of the cabin.

Outside the door, in the elevator, stood Baralai.

"How much did you hear?" Gippal muttered, pounding a button in the elevator.

"Everything."

"She kissed me, you know," Gippal confessed. Better to get it out in the open. But he continued to avoid looking at Baralai.

"Oh," Baralai responded quietly.

Worried, Gippal studied his calm face. "Are you mad?"

"No, but I do think the situation needs rectified…"

"How?" He was puzzled.

"Like this…" Without warning, Baralai framed Gippal's face with his hands and leaned in, slowly kissing him in a thorough manner, tongue stroking everywhere it could.

A moan surfaced from somewhere deep within Gippal's throat, and he kissed back hungrily, crushing Baralai to the wall of the elevator.

"So I'm forgiven?" he guessed.

"You never did anything wrong in the first place," Baralai assured him breathlessly, laughter in his voice.

"It's a real shame about Yuna knowing Al Bhed, though."

--- Past:

On the ship, Gippal had been very jubilant, as had Baralai, Paine, and Nooj. Evidence of this was in posing willingly with Nooj in front of Paine's recorder.

Though it was only for a few nights, they got to sleep in beds again. There had been more people going to the desert than returning from it, so they had more space, even though they had to share a room. Apparently, the desert wasn't the easiest place to train. However, there were still enough people on the ship to give Gippal a bit of a hard time.

_"It's no surprise they got out okay," the man spat out bitterly. "They've got an Al Bhed with them."_

_Right in earshot of Gippal. On purpose._

_"Everything was fair," Baralai argued angrily. "We went through the same trials you did."_

_"Watch your back," Nooj warned under his breath. "This will happen again and again."_

_It took Gippal a moment to realize that Nooj _was_ speaking to _him

Now he saw why. Sprinting as fast as his legs would allow, Gippal tore into the tent that he shared with Baralai, Paine, and Nooj. He caught sight of their bewildered expressions, but he didn't want them to detect precisely what had happened to him.

"Gippal! What's wrong?" It was Baralai, of course.

Gippal halted his efforts at scrubbing his face with his arm. Burying his head under his sleeping bag, he said nothing. (He and Baralai had been given new sleeping bags.) Gippal felt the bag being lifted off as a hand snatched his arm.

"Gippal…? Is this lipstick?"

"Yeah," he confessed. "They thought it was pretty funny. Pycdyntc. (Bastards.)"

He met Baralai's gaze steadily, even though he was aware of the lantern light inside the tent reflecting off his lips.

"They're so cruel to you…" Baralai murmured. "Let me see it. This is nothing to be embarrassed about…" He tenderly dabbed at the lipstick with the end of his sleeve, trying to erase it from Gippal's lips. "It's only smudging… Hm."

"Hey, do you know where that Al Bhed is?!" someone demanded outside.

Baralai's hand stilled. Gippal's eye widened in alarm.

"Why does it matter?" Nooj asked coolly.

"Don't get fucking smart with me! I know he's here!"

"His whereabouts are none of your business. He's done nothing wrong." Paine sounded firm. Gippal could just envision her glaring. "So get out of our campsite."

"You b –"

"We'll report you. Go away," Nooj maintained.

More cursing, and then…nothing but the crackle of the campfire.

"Are they gone?" Baralai questioned, almost whispering.

Nooj motioned for him to come out. "Yes."

"Gippal, what did you do to make them so…?" Paine raised an eyebrow as Gippal's head rested next to Baralai's outside the tent, his lips exposed for all to see. "Is that –?"

"Lipstick? Yeah. And I can't believe you'd think _I _would do anything."

She smiled, warming her hands by the fire. "Bright red actually doesn't look bad on you."

"Paine!"

---

Gippal hated marching. It was repetitive, tiring, and it gave ample opportunity for people to humiliate him. When this happened, he couldn't recognize marching beside Baralai, Paine, and Nooj as a good thing. They heard the nasty things said to him, and he wished he could cover their ears.

The snickering had already started today. Any second now, someone would –

A tap on his shoulder. "Hey. Hey, Al Bhed."

He chose to ignore it. This was a common occurrence.

This time, it wasn't a tap. It was a shove. "Hey, Al Bhed." Too loud for him to pretend he didn't hear.

"What? Where?" Gippal asked in utter annoyance, glancing around. "I don't see any."

"Stupid whore," another man muttered directly behind him.

Gippal's feet ceased marching. "What…did you just say?"

The smart thing would have been to ignore this man, because discontinuing marching caused everyone else to stop and brought unwanted attention.

He glimpsed Baralai's concerned eyes, heard him whisper, "Gippal…" but something pushed him to turn around and face the accusation forced upon him, one that had been said far too often.

The man was tall and bulky (but looked like he didn't take matters of hygiene seriously), and Gippal knew it would be a difficult fight – if there _was_ a fight.

"Go back to your shitty desert," he taunted. "Everyone knows the Al Bhed can't fight. They're only good for fuck –"

Red rivulets oozed out of his bottom lip, and it was then that Gippal realized he had popped it cleanly open. Stunned, his line of vision fell on his fist, clenched, clean of any splatters of blood from the quick hit it had administered.

"You – You –" the man stuttered. His fingers came up to his bleeding lip. "You little bitch!"

He lunged, and Gippal stumbled backward, only to discover that the marchers had formed a circle enclosing them.

"Gippal!" A familiar grip tightened around his wrist, and he was doubtlessly sure of it belonging to Baralai. He was pulled into a secure embrace as green coat sleeves wrapped around his chest from behind.

The man was furious. "I'll cut out your other –"

With a swoosh and a crack, the instigator collapsed. Gippal soon figured out why. Nooj had swiftly rebuked him with his cane.

"My…head…" the man groaned. "Ughh… Fucker hitting my –"

The cane sailed down again.

"Owowowow! Damnit!" he hissed.

"What seems to be the issue here?" a stern voice suddenly demanded.

The crowd instantly parted to make way for the commander.

He gestured to the man who had attacked Gippal. "What's the problem?"

The man glared at Gippal. "Nothing, sir."

---

"Great, they're all going to _love_ me after this." Gippal scuffed at the ground with the toe of his boot. He was back at the tent with Baralai, Paine, and Nooj.

"That doesn't sound like a 'Thank you, Nooj' to me," Nooj grumbled.

Gippal rolled his eye and sighed loudly.

"Well?" Paine prompted.

"…Thank you, Nooj." He shot Paine and Nooj a pointed look that seemed to say, _See, I did it._ "Even though I could have taken care of myself."

Paine let out an exasperated sigh. "Gippal… That guy was twice the size of you."

"Yeah?" Gippal put his hands on his hips. "I came up against worse when I was nine."

"Really?" Baralai questioned.

"…I never said I won."

Baralai laughed. Paine and Nooj just shook their heads.

"Hey, Nooj? That cane-walloping _was _pretty badass," Gippal admitted.

He apparently wasn't the only one to think so. Baralai was in agreement. "May we see it again?"

---

"Those are good…" Baralai peered at Gippal's sketchbook of various weapons. "Can I see it?"

"Hm? Oh, sure." Gippal halted the work on his current sketch and passed it to Baralai.

"Wow…" he murmured, flipping through it.

"They're not that good," Gippal notified Baralai, watching his reaction.

"Yes, they are." He stopped on a page of a giant gun-like object. "This is very interesting."

"I want to build that someday. When I can get enough materials, I think I'll do it. It even has a saw built into it."

Baralai turned to another page. "Why does this one say my name on it?" He seemed taken by it.

It was a sort of sword with a ring and then a blade at each end.

"It's…kind of something that I drew with you in mind." Gippal had never expected Baralai to see it and had been unsure of what he would think of it, but…

"It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you think so," he expressed cheerfully, kissing Baralai on his lips.

The sketchbook clunked onto the ground, momentarily forgotten.

---

Hands outstretched as if to capture the droplets from the sky, Gippal almost didn't hear him say, "What are you doing?"

It wasn't said in an accusatory way. Merely a curious one, but there was a hint of something else. Something close to wonderment. Did Baralai find the rain as fascinating as he did?

Twirling in circles, he laughed and threw his head back to catch raindrops on his tongue. "I've never seen it rain before," he explained breathlessly. "Ever. It's so…" Suitable words were beyond his grasp at this point. There was no possible way to describe something this incredible.

"You're soaked." Baralai smiled and stepped closer.

"And you will be, too, when I'm done with you." He reached out and tugged on a now damp coat so that they were face to face and could brush noses.

"I can't believe you've never seen rain…" Eyelids fluttered shut as Gippal pressed his wet body against Baralai's and nibbled on his ear.

"Believe it. I can't swim, either. Growing up in a desert has that effect." Unexpectedly, he broke away from Baralai and held out his hand. "Care to dance?" He grinned.

"Ballroom dancing?" Baralai looked uncertain.

The odd thing was, Gippal didn't know how to dance that way at all. His eyebrows rose in surprise. "You know how to do that?"

"I can show you…" He clasped Gippal's hand in his. "All right, bring your hand up like this. Now when I move forward, you move back… And now you do it… Step here – Ouch! A little too close."

"Sorry." Gippal scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. He had practically crushed Baralai's foot. "Why can't we be closer, though?"

"Because it's harder to dance."

"Not where I come from." Gippal winked and looped his arms around Baralai's neck.

"What are you –?"

"Dancing," he replied simply, continuing to grind against Baralai.

"…How do you really dance?" Baralai gave the impression of believing that Gippal was only kidding.

"Like this! You can move, y'know," he told him, trailing a hand lower to caress a thigh. "I've seen you do it before in _different_ situations."

The innuendo wasn't wasted on Baralai, who pulled Gippal closer with a smile. "We're drenched. Want to go back inside?" he offered.

"Sure." Gippal smirked and linked his arm with Baralai's, and they walked to the tent – at a somewhat quicker pace than they normally did.

Once Baralai had gone a step in, Gippal playfully tackled and pinned him to the nearest sleeping bag, which happened to be his.

"These wet clothes need to come off," he decided, going for Baralai's coat.

"What are we going to say if Paine and Nooj come back from wherever they are?" This thought didn't hinder Baralai's progress in unbuckling and unstrapping Gippal, however.

"We'll tell them we got caught in the rain, just like they did." He lifted Baralai's arms up to divest him of his top. "It's the truth."

Peeling off Gippal's dripping shirt plastered to his skin, Baralai mused, "I doubt either of them would let the rain – Mmpf!"

Gippal took advantage of Baralai speaking, sensually delving his tongue into his mouth. Sitting up without breaking the kiss, Baralai slid a hand into Gippal's pants…

…and froze at the sound of a feminine gasp.

Gippal's eye widened. He yanked his head away from Baralai's, twisting half his body around, unable to do the same with the lower half. This was on account of Baralai's hand still being in his pants.

Paine and Nooj were standing were standing there, mouths hanging open, apparently speechless.

"OH, CRED (SHIT)! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Gippal tried to haul the sleeping bag out from underneath him and Baralai to use it as a covering, but to no avail.

It didn't matter, anyway, as Paine and Nooj had turned spun around in an effort to afford them some modesty. Or possibly to save their eyes. That was the more probable of the two.

Gippal frowned at putting his wet clothes back on and shivered. It was an unpleasant feeling but one he had to endure. He would have preferred to dash around stark naked just to spite Paine and Nooj for interrupting them.

Baralai's face was a perfect indicator of his mortification as he followed suit, slipping on his coat and staring at the ground.

"Hey…" Gippal said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Gippal?" Paine must have thought Gippal was speaking to her, because she continued to not face him.

Gippal noticed that Nooj had left the tent.

"This changes everything," Paine stated.

"No, it doesn't…" Baralai shook his head. "Paine, nothing is different…"

"This is why you've been sneaking off at night? I thought it was for extra training."

"Yeah," Gippal answered, wanting to reply that he had indeed received "extra training," as Paine called it, although it wasn't exactly her version of it.

"I don't feel like talking right now." With her back to them, Paine marched out.

---

"Nooj…" Gippal tried. This was his attempt at returning things to what they had been. Because it was directly after the disaster that had occurred, he and Baralai hadn't been very successful in this. "Are you mad or something?"

"Why would I be angry?"

"Um…because…you saw…" Gippal wasn't sure of how to word it, considering that Nooj was ladling soup and any mentions of the said activity he had witnessed might cause him to dump it into his lap.

"I saw nothing," Nooj denied. "I have no idea what you are talking about. Would you like some soup?"

Gippal and Baralai gaped incredulously at each other.

Baralai raised his hand. "I'll take some soup, please…"

"I will." Gippal took it from Nooj, slightly nervous that he might suddenly go into a crazy fit or something.

Nothing. Calmness.

He sat down next to Paine, who scooted away from him.

"Well, fuck you very much, too," Gippal muttered.

"We were supposed to be friends," Paine snapped. "Could you just give me some time to get used to this?"

"No." He was too angry to be polite.

"You're like my family, and then…"

Gippal was surprised. Paine usually didn't open up this much.

"Forget it. I can see that you obviously don't care." Grinding her teeth, she stiffly stood up and stomped toward the tent.

Gippal slapped his head. "Fantastic."

"Give her some time alone…" Baralai advised.

Nooj sipped his soup, outwardly unperturbed.

---

A/N: I really love Paine as a character. Don't worry. I won't make her seem evil. She has some hidden reasons for being upset. As for Nooj… Oh, boy.

Next chapter: Seeing as most of my predictions are wrong…I'm gonna stay vague. So…it will take place in the camp. XD


	7. Unmerited

Disclaimer: I don't own FFX-2 or its respective characters. So there. :P Square does.

A/N: You may have noticed that the end of one chapter and the beginning of another are connected by common words or phrases. In this chapter, it's a bit more noticeable than the others. Just letting you know, so you don't think I'm crazy or something. Anyway, this chapter is chock-full of disturbing stuff. Just a heads-up. Also contains mentions of crossdressing and has Gippal singing in it. (Fear not. He's not that bad at all.)

Thanks to: Icicle Goddess, JokaJoker (I don't even know _what_ the main plot is at this point. XD), Jade Samurai, Wai-Aki (And what an eyeful it was! XD), Yuuka Yagami (You are! I read/reviewed your fic, but it cut my review off The rest of it said, "I heart your fic."), Cookie Cowgirl, and Hidama (Paine will be okay. Your fic makes me happy.).

Chapter Seven – Unmerited

Outwardly unperturbed, Rikku sat at the ship controls.

"Rikku… The speech is done." Gippal waved it in front of her face. "We put in some crap about ships. That okay?"

"Please don't distract me while I'm driving."

He reacted with a hiss. "Me-ow."

"Shut up, you meanie."

Though Gippal would never tell her so, he was hurt. They had been friends since childhood, and he already missed the good humor they usually shared. "Rikku, look." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "If this is about me shoving you away, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about how hard I push –"

"It's not that," Rikku interrupted crossly. "Don't you get it?"

"Oh, yeah," he mumbled. "I get that you're being selfish and don't care about my happiness at all."

"What?!" Rikku whirled around in her seat, scowling furiously. "That's not true! I –"

"Rikku!" Brother shrieked, hopping up and down frantically. "Watch where you're going!"

"Huh? Ahhh!" She fumbled with the controls, trying to regain power of the ship as it ducked and swerved.

"I knew you would be trouble, Gippal," Brother spat out. "You always were!"

Gippal smirked. "At least I don't have a hard-on for my cousin."

Brother let out an enraged cry and looked like he had to restrain himself from throttling Gippal.

"I thought you had no cousins," Rikku commented laughingly. "And he's adopted."

"Bummer." Gippal sighed. "Hey, Rikku?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's not fight, okay?" He spit on his palm and held it out. "Spit shake?"

"Okay…" she decided in a grudging tone. "Spit shake." Rikku spit on her hand and shook with Gippal.

Most found it revolting, but it was an old childhood tradition. Gippal and Rikku, both being very strong-willed, had had to use it a lot.

"And quit acting like I'm the one in need of forgiveness."

"What? It's all in your head! Gippal, you're crazy…" At his exasperated expression, she giggled.

--- Past:

Paine had fallen asleep. In her hands, there was an open book, which Gippal curiously glanced over. Guilt settled on him when he realized he was reading her journal, even more so when he cautiously snatched it away. His eye began to scan the page. It read:

_I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. It's not because they're both men – or boys. When Baralai looks at him, I can tell. I can tell it's real. It hurts me more than anything._

_I don't want to be jealous, but I wonder what Gippal has that I don't, besides the obvious, of course. Is it really an issue of gender, or does it run deeper? It is true that I've never seen Baralai show much interest in girls._

_When Nooj and I walked in, they were kissing and touching intimately. We were so shocked that we could only stand there. I don't know what we would have done if they had been further along._

_I feel so betrayed. Gippal is like a brother to me, and Baralai… I've never cared for any man as much as I care for him. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say to him when he approached me about it, but he was the first to speak. He said that he was sorry and that he should have at least brought it up to me and asked Gippal about it, but he wasn't sure how I would react. Now I feel guilty, because it's like he knew I wouldn't be comfortable with it. We were all like family, and then this changes it…_

_I still haven't spoken with Gippal. I don't know where to begin. I don't think ignoring the whole thing like Nooj is doing will help, though he does seem to recognize that they're together. It's just that they were very…involved when we caught sight of them in the tent._

Gippal was about to turn the page, when a hand grasped his wrist. "Ah!" Startled, he dropped the journal.

"What…are…you doing?" Paine ground out. Her eyes were narrowed, teeth gritted. It was safe to say that she wasn't the most cheerful-looking of sorts.

Gippal searched his brain for a good excuse, but the only thing that came out was "Uh…reading?"

"What are you doing reading _my_ journal?" Paine elaborated.

He ignored her question, because he didn't have a definite answer. Instead, he asked, "Paine, are you upset because you…have feelings for Baralai?"

"That's none of your business!" she snapped.

"It should be!" he refuted. "When you make a big deal about it, you make it my business!"

"You think just because you're having…relations with him, you have the right to know how _I_ feel about him? You're wrong."

"I never said that. You're making things shitty between you and me, and they don't have to be," Gippal argued. "Although, I guess…I could have maybe been…a little more understanding." Great. Now he was starting to feel bad.

"…You still had no right to look at my journal," Paine insisted.

He blinked, at a dead end. She was correct. "I guess you're right. Is Nooj okay?"

"You gave him quite a shock," Paine answered quietly.

"You make it sound like he's incredibly elderly."

Paine shook her head. "He does give off that impression."

---

"Line up! Tent search!" a voice demanding obedience bellowed.

Gippal scrambled from his sitting position to a standing one and was about to perform a salute when he remembered something. "The drawings! Cred! (Shit!)"

"Gippal?" Baralai questioned, turning out of his rigid pose the least bit.

But Gippal was already in the tent, flipping through the pages of the sketchbook and trying to come across two very important ones. There they were. Baralai's weapon and his. He tore out the pages and folded them rapidly, stuffing them under his belt.

His teammates were already calling his name, and he had barely been gone half a minute. Gippal skidded out of the tent and was saluting properly in such a short amount of time that it seemed comical.

The commander and two assistants strode up to their tent, where the assistants proceeded to rummage through their belongings. No one was permitted to be "at ease." At last, everything found to be unacceptable was brought out.

The first item, which Gippal recognized as Paine's journal, was given to the commander.

"There is to be no record of any activity in this training area whatsoever. Everything is to remain confidential." He sounded stern, not to be disputed, but Gippal noticed Paine's mouth opening in silent protest.

The second object was Gippal's sketchbook, like he had predicted. "There are drawings of machina in here…" The commander shook his head. "These are not approved. They are counted as hostile. Who is responsible? You have permission to speak."

"I did, sir," Gippal admitted. He studied the man's face, waiting for his inevitable punishment.

"I'm terribly surprised," he stated dryly. "A week of getting the water supply. And you –" He pointed to Baralai. "Take off your coat."

Baralai's face said he was inquisitive, but he obeyed, shrugging off his coat and handing it over. The commander watched as the contents were dumped, littering the ground with: gil, a dried rose, numerous photographs, various pens, and odd scraps of paper. Heaving a sigh, the commander made to leave. He evidently didn't think the bits of paper would yield any signs of wrongdoing, so they left, journeying on to the next tent.

"Here's one to add to the pile." Gippal dug out the drawings and gave the design meant for Baralai to him.

"Thank you…" Baralai smiled in that astounding way of his, and Gippal _knew_ he was staring. Not like he could keep himself from doing it.

Baralai put on his coat and bent over, gathering his scattered belongings. Gippal began to help him but paused at a photograph. It was a group shot of some women in waitress uniforms, their knees visible below the short skirts. Well, mostly women. There was one little girl. What struck Gippal was how closely she resembled Baralai. Her skin was dark. Her short hair, held by a bow on each side, was as light as Baralai's. Then there was her smile. Gentle, mysterious, but at the same time, knowing…

"This pretty girl a relative of yours?" He pointed her out, the girl in the lower right-hand corner.

Baralai and Paine peered over his shoulder to examine it as well.

"She seems well-loved by everyone…" Gippal observed. "You never told me you had a little sister or cousin…"

"I don't." Baralai's cheeks were flushed, a good indication of his embarrassment.

Gippal couldn't understand it. "Who is she, then? Here she is again…" He picked up another photo. And another and another and another.

"Growing up…" Paine murmured.

"I – She –" Baralai stammered. "That's me."

Gippal promptly released the photographs. "What?!"

Paine laughed slightly. "Baralai, you're joking."

"I'm serious," he replied, his eyes reflecting this. "The temple took me, but things were still rough, so I…"

"…Fabricated the facts?" Paine filled in.

"I was too young to know that they only hired women to wait on customers, in order to…attract a certain following of people," Baralai explained. "But the women told me to try on the outfit as a joke. They took me to the head manager, and before they could tell him I was really a boy – after they lied – he hired me. They were of afraid of angering him, so it was years until he found out the truth."

"How'd he find out?" Gippal immediately asked. Who would have guessed Baralai had such an interesting past? Okay, he had had his suspicions, but he never would have thought of something like this… "Deepening voice?" He grinned.

"Ah, actually…" Baralai reddened.

"Come on," Paine urged, amusement flickering in her eyes. "We already know you wore a skirt."

"One of the customers became a little…" He cleared his throat. "…rowdy, and he pulled down my skirt."

Gippal and Paine gaped.

"So it all hung out?" Gippal inquired, eyebrows arched.

Baralai lowered his face into his collar. "Um, yes. Needless to say, the restaurant manager no longer felt a very fatherly bond with me. He fired me right then and informed the temple that I obviously had problems and was not worthy of Yevon." He paused. "They…beat me severely but kept me, due to what they called 'moral obligation.'"

"Sounds unfair to me," Gippal commiserated. "Because of some fucking pedophile, you got the shit beat out of you?"

"Well…yes."

For a moment, no one said anything.

"Still, the thought of you in a skirt is…" Gippal trailed off, trying to change the subject. "…quite appealing…"

"Gippal!" Baralai exclaimed. "I was only twelve at the most."

"Pervert," Paine muttered.

"Hey, I was just kidding."

---

Gippal crouched down, dipping the giant containers in water. It didn't seem like filling them for a week was a terrible punishment, but they were dreadfully heavy when full. Baralai normally accompanied him while he did this, but today Gippal had been summoned to do this in the middle of training.

He hauled the containers up with all his strength and, straining not to pop any blood vessels with the effort, was about to turn around when a hand clamped over his mouth. Gippal heard his own muffled shout and was dimly aware of dropping the water. In a flurry of fists, he tried to spin around, but an arm crushing his trachea prevented any progress. A hand fisted tightly in his hair, stopping him from moving his head. His mouth hung open in the struggle for air. He didn't think it would have been wise to close it until after the pill was popped in.

It was almost tasteless. Almost. There was a faintly bitter tang coating his tongue. Gippal thrashed and kicked out, knowing he had to reject it in order to have a chance.

He didn't. Not a chance at all.

The pill dissolved quickly, mixing with his saliva in a matter of seconds.

"Swallow," someone growled in his ear.

He shook his head persistently. It would be all over if he did.

"Swallow, damnit!"

He was desperately in need of oxygen, and his throat was being squeezed tighter still. Knuckles slammed into his skull, the fingers around his neck loosened, and reflexively, he swallowed.

"Vilg (Fuck)," he gasped out. "Vilg –"

The hand returned to his neck, clenching the back of it this time, forcing him down. There were so many. So many people pushing him down. It could have been five or ten. He had no way of being sure.

Now he was kneeling, but before he could inspect the reflection in the water to determine the identities of the attackers, his head was plunged under. Gippal couldn't swim and hated putting his head underwater. He choked, dragging water into his lungs. Everything became blurry, was actually strangely pretty.

He wondered if he would die like this.

Apparently, the people assaulting him had no intention of allowing that to happen. His head was yanked up, only to be thrust back in again.

It was peacefully cold. So quiet. The only sounds he heard were his thoughts, oddly not screaming but calm, reasoning. He thought about breaking free, about possible methods of escape.

He thought about Baralai.

Just when he was about to pass out, they finally halted their game. His lungs cried out for air, and he granted them it, grateful for the motions of his ribcage, no matter how jerky they were.

A cloth passed over his eye and was knotted firmly, offering no chance of sight. He attempted to fight this but discovered, in a mist of confusion and numbness, that he no longer had any control over his own movements. It was if lead had been pumped into his limbs. Echoes bounced around in his skull, which felt so light on the inside but weighty on the outside. His sensations were dulled. Gippal wanted to curse them, but his lips couldn't form the words.

He vaguely perceived someone propping him up.

"Should we lay him flat or keep him like this?"

"Like that."

"We don't have to… I mean, why can't we just beat him up?"

"Are you chickening out?"

"Pussy."

"It's not like we're going to fuck him."

Gippal froze up, stomach jolting to the point that he speculated he might throw up. Did they intend to…?

"He's not a girl."

"No dipshit, genius."

"Listen, it'll feel the same as a girl. Watch. I'll do it."

Gippal tensed, not certain of what to expect. He only knew that it was going to be disgusting.

He wasn't wrong. A slimy tongue swept through his mouth, causing him to gag. He didn't have enough energy to bite down hard, and his attempts came out as weak chewing. The violation of his mouth ceased but was replaced by something else.

"Knock it off," a voice hissed.

He was slapped. Hard. Fingernails scraped at his chest through his shirt. Gippal arched his back, moaning softly in pain, as one of his nipples was cruelly pinched and twisted.

"It doesn't matter that he's not a girl. He's an _Al Bhed_. A dirty cocksucker whore. Not even human. We could _kill_ him and face no repercussions."

The blindfold gave way a bit on the side where his eye patch was, and the patch was lifted up. Breath beat on the scars.

"It's not _that_ ugly…"

"It sure as hell ain't that pretty, either."

He was so ashamed.

Hands groped him roughly, unforgiving. And then more. Sucking on his skin, mouths abusing his, the sound of a zipper –

"Shit, someone's coming!"

"Oh, fuck!"

"Just leave him –"

They simply left him like that. He heard footsteps and hoped he didn't look too horrible. If it was obvious, he had reason to be embarrassed. If it wasn't, he wouldn't tell. Except Baralai. He was going to ask about the marks.

"Gippal?!"

He could have wept in relief. Unless his ears told him wrong, it was Baralai. The blindfold was hurriedly tugged off, and Gippal was able to see, even with blurred vision, that it was indeed him.

"What happened to you?! Gippal! Why won't you –?" He dragged Gippal up by his wrists, incapable of picking him up. "Oh, Yevon… You're too heavy! Can't you talk?"

Gippal wished he could. To worry Baralai like this hurt him deeply. Why was he always so much trouble?

"Wait, I'm going to try and pick you up –" Baralai scooped him up from underneath his arms and slung him over a shoulder, nudging the eye patch back in place. He groaned under the extra weight but managed to continue walking and whisper comfortingly. "Gippal… It's going to be all right…"

The colors of the ground, grass, and sky bled and ran together. Everything wavered and shuddered again and again, bursting beautifully. Upside down, his head collected with blood, and he felt even dizzier.

"We're almost there…" Baralai reassured him. "Nooj! Paine! Something happened to –" He broke off, panting, as Gippal thudded to the ground. "He won't talk at all!"

Gippal felt his body being carried into the tent, could see the faces above him in a kind of fog… Oh, the lantern was on.

"His pupil is dilated," Nooj observed. "He's feverish. Racing pulse…" He pulled up Gippal's arm and released it. "Completely limp."

It was like he was under a magnifying glass. He hated it.

"Gippal, you're always getting hurt," Paine scolded, but Gippal could hear how her voice was tinged with concern.

"What do you think it is?" Baralai questioned restlessly. He was squeezing the life out of Gippal's hand, but Gippal wasn't about to complain. Not that he could at this time, anyway.

Nooj gave him an honest answer. "It looks like drugs."

"Cowards…" Baralai responded angrily.

"Baralai," Nooj replied firmly, "I'd like to speak with you outside for a moment." Nooj stood up and gestured for Baralai to follow him.

Their low, anxious voices barely reached Gippal. He couldn't make out what the subject of their conversation was, but if he had to take a stab at it, he'd say it was about him. To be fair, that was the easiest guess he'd ever made in his life.

"Gippal, are you okay?" Paine reached out and held his jaw in her hand, peering at his face, where he remembered he had been slapped. "They really beat you up. Gippal? Gippal! Hey, stay…"

Everything went black.

"…with us…"

---

It was warm, in that pleasant way that comes from body heat. Heavy also, but that was because something was leaning on him.

"Baralai?" he whispered hoarsely.

"Mmm… Ah?" He sleepily opened an eye. "Oh, you're awake."

"Sorry for waking you… Where are we?" His throat felt sore; his voice, unused. But then, he had been mute for a short period of time. Suddenly, he noticed he was lacking certain items. His boots, gloves, armor, and… "Baralai, where's my shirt?" Panic seized him. Undoubtedly, Baralai had seen the marks, which he was sure had been hidden from public view on purpose.

"I took it off, along with your other boots and armor, because it was better for you to get rest that way. The shirt was drenched in water. You're in the infirmary right now. Nooj and Paine headed back, because it's night, but I wanted to stay with you…" He brushed damp blond strands away from Gippal's eye, smiling feebly. "They understood."

"Does Nooj know?" The thought made Gippal sick with anxiety. "Do _you_?"

"Yes, I… I do. But no one else does. He had his suspicions when he found out it was a drug normally used to sedate…" Baralai trailed off.

Gippal tugged at his wrist. "What? Tell me."

"…rape victims…" Baralai finished, not meeting Gippal's gaze. "Gippal, what happened? It's not your fault. You can be honest –"

"I wasn't raped," Gippal answered steadily. "I wasn't. They weren't going to, anyway. They were going to…mess with me and get me to do things to them, but you came before anything really happened."

Baralai exhaled. "I'm so relieved…" Arms wrapped around Gippal. "But I still want to kill them."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Gippal grinned. "I'd consider that creepy, Baralai."

"How do you know they won't do it again?" Baralai searched his face uneasily. "You don't even know who they are. How are you going to avoid them?"

"I won't go anywhere alone…" Gippal stretched and buried his head into the pillow. "I'm tired… Come on, get into bed with me."

"The doctor will not be pleas – Mm!" He was pulled toward Gippal and ushered under the sheets.

"See? That's comfortable, isn't it?" Gippal breathed in Baralai's scent. "E muja oui suna dryh yhodrehk. (I love you more than anything.)"

"I love you, too, even when you shove me into bed…" Baralai smiled into Gippal's hair and traced small circles on his back.

Gippal hummed contentedly.

Baralai stopped his motions. "That song again… How does it go?"

"I can tell you now…but I warn you, I'm not the best singer. I'll translate it for you as I go along, because it's in Al Bhed." He tucked his head in against Baralai's chest. "Okay… Ouin ryht ec eh so rhyt…" he began softly, hesitantly. "You hand is in my hand… Ouin raynd ec eh so raynd… Your heart is in my heart… Hu syddan fryd rhybbach, E femm luhdehia du fydlr oui pnaydra eh yht uid cmufmo, mega y deta, yht gab drec cyva, E bnuseca… No matter what happens, I will continue to watch you breathe in and out, like a tide, and keep this safe, I promise… Vun fedr aylr byccehk tyo, so muja vun oui knufc… For with each passing day, my love for you grows…"

Baralai was without words.

Gippal laughed. "That bad, huh?"

"No, it was lovely… I'm not sure what I could say after something like that." He pulled Gippal up and kissed him on the cheek, careful to avoid the bruise.

"And what's really romantic is that you first heard that while I was giving you –"

"Gippal, I declare war," Baralai interrupted calmly.

"What?"

The pillow was whisked out from underneath his head, and he was battered relentlessly with it.

"Ah, ahhh!" he cried, helpless.

Breathlessly laughing, he struggled to regain the prized pillow, only succeeding in tangling himself and Baralai in a mess of sheets. With a piercing battle cry that was sure to wake up the other patients in the infirmary, Gippal flung himself at Baralai. Only, he hit air.

And flew. And flew.

Before finally landing on the floor and dragging Baralai to the ground with him.

"So, who won the war?" Baralai asked, gasping for air.

"It's fair to say we both showed exemplary qualities. Therefore, I award you a medal…and myself five medals."

Their laughter echoed throughout the infirmary.

---

A/N: Next chapter: Leaving the camp. Decisions have to be made…


	8. Lost

Disclaimer: No own. Not me. – holds hands up – FFX-2 belongs to Square.

A/N: Depressing crap ahead. People who don't like Baralai on top? …Aheheh, oh boy. Look out below! :0 …Or should I say above? Also, some offensive things are said in this chapter about homosexuality. Not my personal opinion being expressed there.

Thanks to: Jade Samurai (Torture? Me? Okay, so there's some more in this chapter…), JokaJoker (I was surprised at how many people were like, "Bad Gippal for reading her journal!" Because it was so tempting, just lying there… I must be evil. XD), Icicle Goddess (There's more mention of the skirtage in this chapter… Just a mention, though.), Yuuka Yagami (LOL, the closet thing cracked me up. Gippal… Asphyxiation… What's not to love?), Wai-Aki (I bet Gippal wouldn't mind the hugging.), Eternal-Darkness2, Magenta Fox (Best one on the Internet? I don't not deserve such a nice compliment… There are some pretty good ones out there.), Yoink Daydurfurits (You have an awesome name. I bet you get that a lot. Still, I felt the need to say it.), Shinnyu Kudzu (Terrible? Not at all! Hey, you review! And as for that picture… Show me? – looks around surreptitiously –), cid dante, Demon Buttercup, Happy Cabbage (I'm glad you find it funny! Best one, seriously? There are other really good Gippalai fics, though. And you rock, too! Because you're a cabbage and you're happy.), Kirie Himuro (I think I'll help you in the ritual, haha! By the way, they weren't going to rape Gippal. They were only going to use him…in an unpleasant manner orally, yikes.), and Rageful Fairy.

Chapter Eight – Lost

Laughter echoed throughout Djose Temple. Everyone was in good spirits after the speech. There wasn't even a single person slyly commenting to Gippal on the more-than-amiable way he and Baralai were acting toward one another. In Djose, they were generally more careless about their relationship. Gippal never clarified anything, but then again, he never denied the rumors, either. The Al Bhed were much more accepting of differing sexuality than the Yevonites were. A few raised eyebrows and smirks didn't offend Gippal in the least.

They didn't offend Baralai, either, as far as Gippal could observe. The Al Bhed had readily taken Baralai in, almost as if he was one of their own. Gippal had heard them claim that a friend of his own was a friend of theirs. Besides that (and Gippal would never admit this to Baralai), the people of Djose Temple were entertained by Baralai. His lack of knowledge concerning machina and Al Bhed history made him easy to impress, as many of the children soon discovered. Also, his immense politeness and different customs were something new to the Al Bhed, much like the snow that fell during the winter.

"Gippal… I think it might be a good idea if I lie down."

Baralai's voice jolted him from his thoughts. Studying Baralai closely, he felt like kicking himself. He was obviously not feeling excellent, his skin containing a grayish tint, damp with sweat. "I think it'd be a freaking _great_ idea. You look kind of pale, and for you…that doesn't happen everyday."

Baralai laughed quieter than he normally would have, considering he was now attempting to overcome the aftereffects of the speech. "Most would not say…I'm pale at all."

"I guess they'd be right… Do you want me to come with you?" Gippal was concerned. Whenever Baralai was ill, he believed it was his duty to take care of him. It satisfied him immeasurably to aid someone he loved.

Baralai, who had already been heading for Gippal's bedroom, turned around with an amused expression on his face. "All right, but I wouldn't recommend…"

Gippal put his hands up in the air, shaking his head. "I get it, I get it. Or else…puke."

"Exactly."

Smiling, they walked off. Gippal caught sight of quite a few mischievous grins tossed in their direction. If they only knew the real reason for the bedroom retreat… The Praetor had a fear of public speaking.

--- Past:

"Gippal?"

He was thinking about what everyone had been calling their "final operation as candidates." So far, he had been unusually silent, as had Baralai, Paine, and Nooj. "Yeah?" Gippal didn't glance up, gazing at the patterns the tip of his boot had made in the dirt.

"Um…may I kiss you?"

Forget patterns in the dirt. Gippal's head shot up so fast, he thought his neck might snap. "What?"

But Baralai wasn't kidding. His eyes were honest and serious. "We haven't…kissed for two days, ever since…"

"Oh." Gippal examined the ground, felt his face grow hot. "I didn't want to…dirty you."

"Gippal…" A tan hand grasped his arm.

He couldn't look up at Baralai, not now. "No, I know what you're going to say, Baralai. It _was_ dirty. They were…all over –"

"Stop," Baralai interrupted gently. "You're not… You could never be… I don't…know what's going to happen."

"The test?" His voice wafted away from him so that he could hardly hear it. He was too anxious.

"Yes."

Gippal lifted his head up, meeting Baralai's eyes. "Baralai… No matter what happens during this thing, I'll always –"

He didn't get to finish. Baralai brought a hand up to clasp around the nape of his neck, drawing him closer, and brushed his lips over Gippal's in a quick motion. He seemed hesitant, like he was waiting for some kind of permission, which Gippal granted to him. Opening his mouth, he allowed Baralai's tongue to sensually glide over his. Kissing him like this was lovely, and Gippal realized how much he had missed it in the last couple of days. He was content to simply melt into Baralai. Automatically, his hands began to wander…

"You two are out in the middle of camp," someone reminded him.

Gippal blinked at Baralai. He hadn't said it, so… Twisting around, he determined the origin of the warning. Paine.

"Ahhhh!" he screamed in terror, cowering in Baralai's arms.

"Paine –" Baralai started, but it came out as more of a squeak.

Gippal had overcome his fright fast enough to grin. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"Since right before you jumped each other. I was going to tell you that it's time to go, but you obviously had more important things to do." Her tone was not angry, upset, or annoyed, to Gippal's surprise. She was smiling. Perhaps she had accepted it…? It certainly appeared to be that way. "By the way, anyone could have caught you. And Nooj told us to look out for you."

Gippal groaned in embarrassment. "He _didn_'_t_."

"Oh, he did," Paine confirmed, laughing. "Come on… We wouldn't want to be late."

Gippal followed her, trudging a bit behind on purpose.

"Wait, I…" Baralai whispered. "…love you."

"That's what I was going to tell you, but you interrupted me in such a nice way." He winked.

"You…" Baralai affectionately touched his elbow.

"E muja oui."

---

Running. His legs had a mind of their own. He didn't have to think to move them. He couldn't think to begin with. Fear swarmed rampantly in his insides, coiling up in his stomach and climbing up to his heart, stabbing, clenching.

Breaths. Panting. The thudding of footsteps and a pounding in his ribcage. He gasped for air, but it wasn't a priority. The only thing that mattered was immediate escape, that they all made it.

They. Baralai and Nooj. They could later tell him that this had really happened, that he wasn't going insane. Or maybe this was all a nightmare. He would wake up frightened, and Baralai would comfort him sleepily and reassure him. Then he would go back to sleep, drifting off to the sound of Baralai's breathing.

His hope was like paper to a flame.

---

"Please… Let's just stop…" Gippal wasn't pleading like that. Was he?

"We're almost there…" Nooj forced out, sounding like it was difficult for him to speak.

"No… No… Where is there?" He couldn't believe it. He _had_ said it.

"I think it's safe to rest for a minute…" Baralai managed, echoing Gippal's sentiments. "Or else we'll never make it…"

They all silently agreed, at last halting in front of the inn on Mi'ihen Highroad. Walking up the hill, he stumbled and had to drag himself back up. He heard the thump of Baralai landing next to him, exhaled as his feverish forehead was pressed to Baralai's cool coat and fingertips massaged his scalp.

"Beautiful sunset…" Gippal wheezed, leaning into Baralai's touch.

"I hope…Paine's all right…"

"If you brats will…stop talking…you'll catch your breath," Nooj advised wearily.

They were quiet for a moment, observing the sunset. Its colors were so like blood, glorious reds, blending and burning.

"Thanks for the tip, Noojster."

"Your knee is bleeding," Baralai noticed, gripping the straps of Gippal's boot, ready to take a look at it.

"It's okay. I'm fine," Gippal insisted. "It's just from when that bastard tripped me outside that…place…" He shifted to lie on the grass and let his attention linger on the blazing sunset. "They won't hurt Paine. She was employed by them to record…"

"But if she follows us, it puts her and us at great risk," Nooj replied.

"She will," Baralai predicted. "I know it."

A sudden thought occurred to Gippal. "We almost died." Giddy, nearly hysterical laughter tumbled out of his mouth. "We almost died! Did you hear how shocked she was? Did you?"

"Gippal…" Troubled brown eyes found him.

"Cunno (Sorry), you must think I'm going crazy."

Nooj chuckled sadly. "This is the only time you have a decent excuse for it."

"This is the only time you have a decent excuse to be so damn fatalistic." Gippal rolled his head to the side to witness Nooj's reaction.

"Won't you give us an eulogy?" Baralai added.

"…This would not be a terrible way to die. With the sunset like this."

Gippal laughed miserably. "And there you have it. Y'know, for just a second, after they told us we really made it, and I thought it was true, I felt so happy…"

Baralai placed a hand on his shoulder. "Gippal…"

He said no more on the subject.

---

A bang. Like…a gunshot.

Horror flooded him, choking and wrenching, as he watched Baralai fall to the ground. Whirling around in anger and confusion, he was even more terrified at the sight of Nooj holding the gun. Could it be that _he_ had shot Baralai? No, no, it had to be that he was just defend –

The bullet tore into his shoulder, right where Baralai had touched him reassuringly on the hill.

Baralai.

He was next to Baralai now. How did that happen? Stretching his fingers out, he tried to reach him. Anything to get him to open his eyes, to prove he was alive. His mouth opened and shut like a fish's, no sound escaping, as he struggled to speak. Finally, a single word drifted out.

"Baralai…"

He dimly registered Paine screaming and experienced a stab of fear for her life. Exhaustion infiltrated his body. Everything slowed down. Baralai's green coat faded to black.

---

"Gippal? Are you awake, Gippal?"

It was as if his head had been filled with sawdust. The question echoed, bounced around in his skull. Wherever he was, it was warm, clean, white.

"Was it a nightmare?"

"No, it wasn't… And I owe you an apology for holding a gun to your head. I'm so very sorry… I had no control over myself. It was like I was…possessed."

His vision focused. Everything came together. And he remembered more.

"Baralai… It's okay. I understand…but why are we here?"

"The people of the inn took us in and took care of our wounds. They told me that it's been two days –"

"Wha –" Gippal shot up in bed but abruptly collapsed with a cry. "It…hurts…"

"Shh…" Baralai murmured, running a hand over Gippal's chest, which he now realized was bare. "You have to not move around so much. It'll be all right… We both will be. I don't want to inconvenience these people any longer. They've already covered for us a few times. We should leave for Luca tomorrow."

"Nooj…" Gippal whispered hoarsely, crumbling in Baralai's embrace. "Why? What did we do that was so wrong for him to do that to us? I don't understand…"

"I hate him."

"I don't know why I can't," Gippal admitted softly. "I just feel so…blank."

Like the ceiling above them.

---

"Baralai, I'm hungry."

"We could buy some fruit."

They were in Luca. It was where they had been headed in the first place, before Nooj had shot them. Discussing things with him, Nooj had said he understood that Baralai and Gippal wouldn't want to be separated. It would be fine for him and Paine to go their own ways, and then they could all meet up again.

Now all that they had left from either of them was a note from Paine and a stinging reminder of betrayal from Nooj, a hideous residue that had left its mark on both Gippal and Baralai. They rarely spoke of Nooj, and if they did, it was because Gippal brought him up. Baralai would tactfully move on to something else.

"Hmm… How about berries?" Gippal inspected them as carefully as he could but wasn't sure what to look for. They had never had any like these on Bikanel Island. "Baralai, you've got to help me with this, or else I… Baralai?"

But Baralai wouldn't answer. He was frozen in place, staring with wide eyes, wrist trapped by the man across the fruit stand counter. Baralai had never stolen before, so why was…?

"You look just like her," the man breathed. "Shit, this is unbelievable."

Baralai was trembling.

"Hey, let him go!" Gippal angrily protested, making a move to grab Baralai. This situation was horribly wrong somehow.

"He's my son."

Gippal was stunned. Oxygen didn't make it to his lungs.

"_One day, he caught them…and killed them both. Then he left, without another word to me or to anyone else. He was found a year later and forced into prison. I haven't seen him since… It's possible he died."_

None of this person's physical traits matched Baralai's. He was pale and had dark hair and quite a bit of stubble. Baralai must have taken mostly after his mother…

"I am _not_ your son," Baralai ground out. "You're a murderer!" He snatched his wrist away, stepping back unsteadily, almost losing his balance.

He received a dark chuckle in response. "It wasn't murder… She cheated on me. That's why I'm not in prison anymore. 'A crime of passion,' they called it."

This man was making Gippal queasy.

"That's not valid justification," Baralai spat.

He snickered. "The court thought it was. I was so sure you would be overjoyed if we met again. It's been so long since I've seen you. How disappointing…"

"I always disappointed you. Mama and I were never good enough for you."

"Baralai… Let's go." He tugged on his arm. "You don't have to put up with this."

"Who the fuck are you? His boyfriend?" Harsh laughter.

Gippal had to bite his tongue on that one. Something about their expressions must have been telling. Or perhaps it was the lack of vehement denials. Whatever it was, it caused his smile to dissolve into a sneer.

"That's disgusting and shameful… My own son is a _faggot_," he hissed, revulsion creeping into his tone. "I guess I should have expected such abnormalities from _her_. She was a fucking slut, and I bet you're no better. An Al Bhed… You're the company you keep."

"Then I must be a wonderful person –" He broke off, twisting away, and cut through the crowd.

"Baralai! Wait!"

---

He knew the lady at the hotel desk had given them an odd look. It didn't matter. Baralai needed to get away, and Gippal wasn't about to be the one to deny him that. He was desperate, rushing out of a corner he had been backed into.

It was the reason Baralai fumbled with the key to their room, losing his grip again and again. His hand was shaking too much. The door finally cracked open, and Baralai wasted no time flinging it open the rest of the way. Gippal stepped falteringly into the dark room, groping for a light switch.

"Bara –"

And was practically slammed into the wall. Lips on his, trailing down to his neck… Hands everywhere, like Baralai was trying to memorize the contours of his body. He didn't even get a chance to react, and then…

Baralai let out a sob, crumpling helplessly in his arms. "Please, I need…"

"Sleep," Gippal filled in, steering him toward the bed. "I can't… It wouldn't be right. You're crying…"

He pressed Baralai to him on the bed, cradling the back of his head with a hand, and let him weep. Gut-wrenching sobs, shuddering, consuming, containing so much pain that sometimes no sound came out at all – It tore him apart to witness Baralai breaking down like this.

"I love you, don't you know? I love you."

"I'm sorry…" A sliver of light from the doorway illuminated his tear-streaked face. Bringing a sleeve up, he wiped his eyes. "I am an idiot. Really and truly."

"No, you're not. But since that was the last of our gil, we might as well make the most of it and get a good sleep, so…"

He knelt by the foot off the bed and began to take off their boots. Baralai made no effort to assist him, but he was in such a state that Gippal didn't even comment on it. The chill of the hotel room seeped into his skin, wet from Baralai's tears, when he peeled off his shirt. Tossing the shirt and his eye patch off to the side where he thought their armor might lay, he crawled under the sheets and sought the warmth of skin. Then he remembered he had left the door open.

"Damnit," he mumbled. "Door."

It was a nuisance to get up and close it, and it was an annoyance to get back. In the darkness, he blindly speculated where to walk. Something hard bumped into his shins, causing him to sprawl over the bed. Instantly, there was hot breath on his neck, hands lifting him up and pinning him.

"Please, give me this…"

Fingers slipped into his already unbuckled pants, gliding down his back, and Gippal was lost. He caressed Baralai's thighs and yanked at the pant strings impatiently, somehow managing to undo them, even without sight. It must have been all the times he had previously untied it, which made him recall…that they had never before done this in a bed. He had little time to ponder over it. Baralai was stroking him roughly, harder than he had ever done before, resulting in Gippal nearly ripping his own pants in two as he tried to help Baralai take them off.

"Baralai…?" Uncertainty loitered in his mind. Baralai had never been this…desperate….

He quickly forgot his doubts when Baralai captured his mouth, running his tongue over Gippal's, and ground their hips together. The motion led to the touch of searing flesh, erections brushing up against one another, extracting gasps. Gippal turned his head into the pillow and severed the kiss, leaving his neck vulnerable.

The exposed skin was soon taken advantage of as Baralai started sucking at a leisurely pace and laving the hollow of Gippal's throat with his tongue, going lower… He kissed his chest sweetly, slowly, a direct contrast to the rhythm of their lower bodies and wanting fingers.

"Just – Now…"

He didn't have to make sense for Baralai to understand. "Try the drawer…" he suggested, panting.

Gippal reached over next to the bed and opened the drawer under the nightstand. Sure enough, there was a small bottle of lotion in there. "How many times have you been in a hotel, Baralai…?" Gippal asked mock-suspiciously, raising an eyebrow that he knew Baralai couldn't see.

Baralai laughed breathlessly. "That was…a guess…"

Gippal handed him the lotion and waited. He was always terrible at waiting, and now was no exception. He fidgeted underneath Baralai, straightening at the feel of a chilly substance being spread over his length and between his legs.

"Lumt… (Cold…)" A shiver ran up his spine.

"Turn over…please."

Gippal complied but allowed a smirk to creep onto his features. Baralai was polite as ever. The smile vanished as a finger pushed into him, massaging gently, sliding in and out smoothly. Another finger soon joined it, eliciting soft moans.

"Nnn…"

The fingers were replaced by something else, and before Gippal had a chance to recognize the familiar sensation, Baralai held his hips firmly in place and edged into him. Lips tenderly explored his neck as a hand reached down to touch him intimately, teasingly… Gippal brought one of his own hands up, mimicking the action, groaning and delighting in the pangs of happiness he felt at hearing Baralai make comparable noises. Suddenly, Baralai went faster, shifted –

"Ahn!" Various colors sparked behind his eyelid. Writhing uncontrollably, Gippal bit his bottom lip and dug his fingers into the mattress.

Baralai wasn't violent by any means, but he was…more forceful this time. Also louder. He whispered Gippal's name like it was part of a sinful prayer, an unattainable wish, and that puzzled Gippal, because he was right there. It was only a brief moment of thought, because he would be the first one to confess that he didn't mull over much during moments like this. He couldn't, not with such delicious distractions.

Heat collected in his body, growing and feeding off pleasure, until…

Like a dam, it burst.

Gippal came with a faint cry, arching and bending back, before settling. "Baralai…" Warmth filled him, soothing and calming.

Baralai groaned quietly, carefully disentangled himself from Gippal, and kissed his ear innocently, like he hadn't given Gippal something he was sure to feel in the morning.

"What was that about?" Gippal questioned tentatively. He had a feeling something was wrong, but if Baralai didn't want to talk…

"I need a good reason? I was under the impression you were reason enough." Baralai's head hit the pillow next to him.

He was close enough for Gippal to feel breath beating on his face, and yet, he still felt distant right now. It had never been like this before. Baralai had always been with Gippal, no matter how far apart they were in actual location.

"Is it your father?"

Baralai was silent before replying. "…He doesn't deserve that title. He…_killed_ her, and he still destroys her memory today…by calling her those degrading names… And what he called me…"

"I hate that word," Gippal murmured.

"All the times I heard it when I was a child…really hurt me," Baralai remarked bitterly. "I kept how I felt secret, but it still confused me… It didn't seem fair that others could be attracted to the appropriate people, while I liked…boys."

"Who was your first crush?" Perhaps it was ridiculous to ask a question like that, but Gippal had an odd curiosity about it.

"Oh, he was…" Baralai started to recall, and Gippal could hear the smile in his voice. "I don't remember his name. He was…at the restaurant I worked at, and he thought I was a girl, so he would talk to me… I remember he had blonde hair."

Gippal smirked. "What, you have a thing for blondes?"

"Actually, yes."

"It's all about the ass, Baralai. Forget hair color."

Baralai laughed. "So that's why you went after me…?"

"There're many more things I like about you, but you _do_ have an awesome ass." He beamed.

"Why, thank you."

"Don't mention it."

---

"Baralai, I can't get to sleep. Can you just let me read the note?"

"It says the same thing every time," Baralai told him, and Gippal was surprised at how alert he sounded. Looked like he wasn't the only one missing out on sleep.

Despite the answer he had received, Baralai relinquished the note, taking a minute to rummage through his pockets for the said bit of paper. Gippal sat up in bed and clicked on the lamp. The bright light burned into his eye at first, making him squint, and he glimpsed Baralai doing the same to the side of him. He turned over on his stomach, shielding his eye from the harshness of the intense light.

_Please don't think I'm abandoning you. I have no choice. These people have agreed to care for you and hide you until you get better. I must leave. I don't know where Nooj is, and I don't know why he did this. I'm sorry. Take care._

_-Paine_

"Nothing," Gippal muttered. "Not even where she was going. Nothing. Damnit, I can't believe…how much I miss her."

"I'm going to miss you."

"What?" His skin prickled. "Baralai… _What_ did you say?"

Things were coming together, making sense. Why Baralai acted the way he did that night. He wanted to memorize Gippal, to hold him precious before leaving. Other things, however, made less and less sense as the moment of absolute stillness wore on. Like why Baralai would leave him in the first place.

"I said I'm going to miss you," Baralai repeated, voice wavering. "It's true."

Gippal grinned, disbelieving. "No… You've got a long way to worry about that."

"I leave for Bevelle tomorrow."

It would have caused Gippal less pain if someone had shot him in the chest. But then again, Nooj _had_.

"Baralai? What are you…?" His eye was stinging, and there was no withholding his tears. "Why are you doing this?!"

"Please don't make this harder for me than it already is, Gippal…" The plea was strained. It looked as if he was trying to stop himself from becoming overwhelmed by emotion as well. Visibly failing, he turned away. "I must know the truth."

"Take me with you! Please! Please…" There was no point in protecting his dignity. He was well aware of how pathetic he sounded, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"They'll kill you."

"They'll kill _you_!" Gippal cried, grabbing a bare shoulder and forcing Baralai to face him. "Look at me! Is the truth that important?! What bullshit!"

"You're not going to stop me. I need to do this." Baralai was cracking, but it was his resolve that refused to splinter. He gazed up at Gippal with determined but tear-filled eyes, those warm eyes that Gippal loved…like what he was doing…wasn't wrong at all.

Springing up from the bed, not bothering to obtain his clothes, Gippal tore into the bathroom and locked the door. He slumped against the wall, buried his face in his hands, and simply wept. The entire night.

---

In the morning, Baralai was gone.

---

A/N: …Don't beat me! Also, a note on Paine's…well, note. XD Bad pun. In the little scene where you can follow Gippal into Bevelle Temple and watch Baralai get possessed, it's mentioned that Baralai knew Nooj shot Paine, while Gippal had no idea. In the sphere in which the shooting takes place, we see that Gippal and Baralai were shot down before seeing Paine get shot. I'd like to believe they stuck together for a bit after this. So that leaves Paine by herself, hence the note. But how did Baralai know of her getting shot? Well, I think Nooj might have told him before Gippal arrived in the temple…

Next chapter: Gippal searches for safety and, later on, Baralai.


	9. Requited

Disclaimer: Square owns FFX-2, not me.

A/N: Yep, contains sex. And masturbation. What?! – looks around – Gippal _really_ misses Baralai. A lot. There's gotta be some reminiscing on his part.

Thanks to: JokaJoker, Jade Samurai (Not so much torture in this chapter!), Wai-Aki, Rageful Fairy (I once superglued my fingers together. Er, more than once. Haha. And bad things in Bevelle? – whistles innocently –), Yoink Daydurfurits, Angelus Errare (Thank you for the cookies! Nooj _is_ a bitch, but it isn't his fault. He was possessed, so I had to follow through with that. Personally, I like using him as comic relief. XD As for the angst, there is some in this chapter, but well…you'll just have to see.), DemonButtercup, EternalDarkness-2, Kirie Himuro (I played Fatal Frame for a very short time, because I rented it. In a word, awesome. If I had enough money, I would buy it.), Magenta Fox (Do you like Seymour? Uh-oh. Don't beat me up! There will be mentions about how he kind of was…not so nice, in the next chapter.), Absolute Alcohol (Glad you're satisfied. I'm happy you said that you like to give out constructive criticism, because I really do appreciate that. And…sweet Jesus on a pogo stick! Bounce, bounce away! XD), Shinnyu Kudzu (I think the legislature sucks, too. Damn. It really does. And…you have my permission to cause great harm to Baralai's father!), and New Guy (I think Gippal rocks, too! I'm glad you mentioned dialogue…because that's my favorite thing to write. And I'm…not the best. There are lots of good writers out there. But thank you. By the way, there is something oddly pleasing about your name.).

Chapter Nine – Requited

In the morning, Baralai was gone. The empty spot in the bed didn't surprise Gippal, because Baralai had slept earlier than usual on account of his queasiness. He figured he was already eating breakfast.

Gippal trudged tiredly outside, where he was greeted by warm morning air, a glowing sunrise, and most wonderful, Baralai sitting on the ground, munching a piece of toast and sipping coffee.

"Good morning." He smiled brightly.

"Since when did you become such a morning person, Baralai?"

"Since I was able to gain hours of sleep without staying up late doing piles of paperwork."

Gippal sighed and plopped down next to Baralai. "I swear, they work you to death. Even though you have beautiful handwriting, that's not the _only_ thing you're good at."

Baralai arched an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting I become a prostitute?"

"Good, great Farplane, Praetor. You scandalize me with your outrageous sexual notions." He clapped his hands up to his own face teasingly.

Baralai laughed. "Can you ever manage to forgive me now?"

"Absolutely." Gippal picked up Baralai's momentarily forgotten coffee cup and drank a large gulp out of it, winking as he did so.

"Ah! My coffee!" Baralai protested, making a grab for it.

"Hey, you abandoned it!" But he relinquished it, anyway. "Oh, and for your information, when I said you were good at other stuff, I meant like…speeches." Gippal grinned, awaiting Baralai's reaction.

"Yes, if vomiting and shaking are signs of 'being good' at something."

Gippal could tell he was amused, though.

"Oh, and you have a letter," Baralai informed him, dropping a white envelope on his lap.

"Did you hold it up to the sun?" He smirked slyly.

"I would only do that if I were you, _journal-reader_," Baralai replied pointedly.

Gippal's mouth hung open. "What?! Paine told you?!"

"Oh, she didn't just tell me. She gave me a five-hour lecture outlining every single detail and also included many valid reasons about why you were wrong. I have to say, she was very convincing."

"Ugh! She…!" Gippal grimaced. "I said I was sorry!"

"All right, I believe you…" He gestured to the letter in Gippal's lap. "Are you going to open that letter any time soon?"

Gippal had a feeling that Baralai had changed the subject so soon on purpose. "Looks like someone _is_ curious," he noticed, tearing the paper.

"It is from Bikanel…" Baralai pointed to the address.

"Really?" Gippal was elated. He hardly ever received mail from Bikanel, and if he did, it meant it was from Neona and Anyata. Most of the time, the letters would be in Al Bhed, but Neona had learned to speak Spiran and occasionally practiced by writing to him. Gippal remembered that he had learned Spiran at an incredibly young age, and it had come in handy. His spelling in the language still wasn't fantastic, but Baralai was always willing to help him out with it, just as Gippal would assist him with the Al Bhed language.

His eye scanned the paper, and immediately, he realized something was off. It was formally written, apologetic, and in handwriting he didn't recognize…

"Gippal?" Baralai touched his arm. "What's wrong?"

Gippal hardly felt it. He was held prisoner by the contents of the letter, reading the last lines over and over again. "Oh… I… I…"

"…Gippal? What…?"

"Neona has to come live here." He was numb. The words on the page were running together.

"Why?"

"Anyata… She… Baralai, she died."

--- Past:

Gippal wasn't sure if he should look for Baralai. He had up and left him, after all. Just like that. Gippal had never said or heard parting words of comfort, either. No "goodbye"s or "I love you"s or "take care of yourself"s.

Gippal wondered if it might actually kill him. He rarely ate and slept few hours while drowning out the persistent idea that something was missing by working insane hours at the temple.

It didn't help at all. Nothing did.

In the run for his safety, Gippal had traveled to many places, but Djose Temple had to be the most ironic of them all to hide from Yevonites. All right, so he admitted that Bevelle Temple itself would have been. At least he would have been able to see Baralai there, chances were.

Sometimes Gippal was too angry to think about missing Baralai. Other times, like tonight, it felt like a few of his organs were misplaced, wedged in the wrong areas. Or gone completely.

Now his cheeks were tinged pink with arousal and…shame? He didn't think so. However, he did have the notion that some would consider what he was doing to be wrong, even disrespectful of his memory of Baralai. The truth was that he needed him not only emotionally but physically as well. There was no physical closeness with anyone else after Baralai. Gippal knew he couldn't do it without feeling like he was betraying both himself and Baralai. It wouldn't be the same ever again for him unless it was him.

This wasn't the same, either. It was a poor substitute, but it was all he had.

Eyelids fluttering shut, Gippal gripped himself tighter, quickening the speed that his hand moved inside his pants, gasping as a thumb ran over his head. He pictured Baralai turning to him, smiling, laughing. Baralai…against white sheets…flushed and bare… His dark skin was always a stunning contrast to the fabric.

"Baralai…" he moaned softly, straining with that growing heat above his hips. "I –"

He went to pieces, trembling uncontrollably, victim to the explosions lighting off on his nerves.

"– need you."

Breathing heavily, he looked to the window, where stars already illuminated the dark.

"_Do you know any constellations?" Baralai asked, folding his arms behind his head as he examined the sky._

"_Yeah," Gippal answered, joining him on the sand. "That one's Mnemosina." He pointed to the said constellation. "Old legend – that we don't follow anymore – has it that she's the keeper of memories. The Al Bhed aren't as fond of her."_

"_Memories are just memories," Baralai recalled._

"_Exactly." Gippal smiled at him. "But lately, I've been thinking that memories are more… I mean, do we repeat that old saying just to feel better about all the bad things that have happened to us?" He studied the outline of Mnemosina again. "I think we have to take the bad with the good. Without our memories, we're nothing."_

"_Someday, this will be only a memory." A thought, more like a fear, really, uttered gently._

"_But, Baralai, you will always be a part of me." He rolled on his side, taking Baralai's hands in his own, and matched the gaze he was facing with one just as serious. "Because I'd sooner forget my name than forget that I love you."_

The stars held no answers.

---

Gippal was nervous. He scratched the back of his head, shifted in the chair, shuffled his feet. His friends at Djose Temple had told him that gaining the Praetor's permission for something like what Gippal had planned, starting a machina revival program in the temple, would be next to impossible. Despite the grim odds, he had taken heart in the fact that Bevelle had a new Praetor, who he had heard was surprisingly very lenient in cases that the abundant conservatives of Bevelle weren't.

He wondered if he would see Baralai again and also what would say or do if he did. So far, there was no sign of him anywhere, to Gippal's immense disappointment. Maybe he shouldn't have even hoped –

Gippal started at the creaking of the office door. It had better be the Praetor. This was worse than waiting in line to register for desert digging. After sitting in that hard wooden chair for what he thought might be two hours, his butt was getting a little sore. Not that he had never experienced _that_ feeling before.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. There was –"

For a moment, Gippal could say nothing. There was a pounding sound, somewhere. It took him a second to discover that it was only the blood rushing in his ears. He was looking into warm brown eyes belonging to…Baralai.

"Gip…pal…" Baralai stammered weakly, groping for a solid surface to lean against and finding the desk.

"I was hoping I'd find you here…" Gippal managed. "I…can't believe it's really you…"

"Is that why you came?" Baralai questioned, voice only slightly steadier than before.

"No," Gippal confessed. "It was something else, but I could tell you later… If you want, anyway. I don't mean to, um…upset you." He pulled at his sleeve anxiously and stared at the floor.

"Upset me? You're the one who should be upset, Gippal…" Baralai murmured desolately. "I'm amazed that you're not furious at me."

Gippal lifted his head up at this, observing Baralai's slumping form. "I was angry sometimes, but…I couldn't stay that way, because…" He trailed off, unsure if it would be dangerous to finish.

"Why? I don't deserve your kindness."

"Hey, stop that. I still…care for you, Baralai. That's why." Gippal laughed quietly, shaking his head. "I still…"

"I never stopped, either. I…missed you so much."

"Was it worth it, Baralai?" He wasn't sure what compelled him to ask, and he wasn't sure if he should've in the first place. Gippal did forgive Baralai, but he had to know. "Was it?"

"I…don't know," Baralai was nearly inaudible. "I've found the truths I wanted to, but you –"

"It's okay. I had to let you do things on your own. We're both free people." It made sense, but it left a burgeoning pain in his chest. It hurt to rationalize the suffering he went through. Yet, he knew what he said was true. He wasn't bound to Baralai…or was he? In a way, he supposed he always would be.

Baralai appeared to be startled. "How can you say that after…?"

"I forgive you," he whispered.

Baralai's eyes widened in understanding. "May I…look at you?"

He stood and walked toward Baralai unsteadily, coming closer… Gippal was still having a difficult time grasping the situation. Within a foot of Baralai, he stopped and lowered his head, not knowing if he could risk looking at him in a proximity that close.

"You've grown."

It'd only been a few months. Then again, he wasn't physically an adult yet.

"You're seventeen now?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, um…" Baralai tried. "You probably would like that paper signed?"

Gippal's head swung up. This was a surprise. "How did you know?"

"They told me." He shook his head. "They were so sure I'd dismiss it, but I see nothing wrong… Here, I'll go get it."

Gippal should've felt relief, happiness, but all he felt was a resounding echo of fear. Baralai started off for the desk, but Gippal reached out and snatched his arm steadfastly.

"Baralai, stop. Why is this so…wrong?"

"What I did to you…" He breathed in sharply and turned away. "You won't even look at me."

"I was worried that if I did that, I would…" How could he explain this without getting into trouble? Gippal could feel his face burning. Great. "We were pretty close, and I didn't want to do anything stupid."

"Stupid…?" Baralai's eyelashes skirted against his tan skin. His expression and the way he was leaning in struck Gippal as familiar.

He knew what was going to happen a moment before it did, but that didn't spur him to step back any more. Baralai's eyes closed…and then he pressed his lips to Gippal's. Gippal was frozen, eye wide-open, lips parted. When Baralai didn't get a response, he pulled away, his face reflecting hurt.

"I apologize." He glanced away. "That was wrong of –"

Gippal didn't hesitate this time. Cutting him off, he wound fingers in his hair and returned the kiss, allowing his other hand to trail lower and skate over the ridges of Baralai's spine. He felt a shudder ripple through the other's body, and the mouth touching his opened, granting him access. Baralai's tongue slid over his, sensually caressing and exploring, causing him to swallow a low groan from deep within his throat.

It was so easy to lose control. So easy. He was already introducing Baralai to the idea that the desk might be good for something other than mulling over tedious paperwork. Gippal had his own versions of "mulling" and "tedious" and didn't mind having to pin Baralai to the desk to show him them.

"Not…here…" Baralai panted as Gippal's hand crept down their bodies and massaged the area between his legs. He reacted by dragging himself up, nipping and sucking the skin of Gippal's neck.

"You say something like _that_ before doing something like _that_?" Gippal laughed breathlessly.

Baralai examined his handiwork. "It suits you."

"Considering that it probably looks like a blob, I don't know if I should take that as…a compliment?" He pretended to ponder over this while his hand artfully returned to its previous activity.

"Bedroom. Now," Baralai advised in a mock-serious tone. When Gippal didn't relent, he added, "Gippal, I mean it…"

"Easy for you to say." He laughed. "I have nothing to hide this, uh…"

"If we should happen to run into anyone, you shall be shielded from their view by…" Baralai blindly reached past his head. "…this."

A giant, treacherous-looking pencil sharpener.

"What?! That's hazardous!" Gippal protested. "Just call me Pencil-crotch."

"Pencil-crotch," Baralai replied flatly.

"Or Anti-crotch."

"Anti-crotch."

Gippal groaned. "There is no way I'm doing that…"

---

"I can't believe I'm doing this…"

Baralai's laughter was shortened by the hand on his shoulder.

"Good afternoon, sir. I don't believe we've met." The elderly man indicated Gippal.

"We haven't," Gippal confirmed.

"Are you sure you're all right?" The man was possibly suspicious, perhaps because of their awkward walking.

"_Cock_sure." Gippal smirked.

Baralai shot a look at him.

"I noticed that you seemed a little ill at ease is all."

"Well, walking down the _length_ of this hall is kind of tiring for me." Gippal sighed dramatically. Despite how uncomfortable it was to hobble down the hall in his condition, he was finding this conversation enjoyable. "Djose Temple isn't this _big_. But we're just going to go finish up some _rock hard_ paperwork."

Baralai was practically scarlet at this point. Treading lightly on Gippal's foot, he tried to change the course of the conversation. "How's the weather outside today?"

The man chortled, creasing his bushy eyebrows together. "I have no idea! I've been in here all day. Rather depressing."

"There's sort of a _snog_ – er, fog."

"What's that there?" the man asked curiously.

"Oh, just a pencil sharpener." A wink. "I try to _sharpen_ my _pencil_ regularly."

"Ahahaha." Baralai steered Gippal away. "Have a nice day." As they staggered away, he reprimanded, "Gippal! What were you doing?"

"Talking."

"He could have… Oh, here's my room." He stared motionlessly at the door.

"Well… You've got the key, right?" Gippal smiled nervously at him.

"Yes…" Baralai pulled a key from his pocket and shakily twisted it in the lock.

"Butterfingers."

"Heh."

Gippal blinked as the door swung open. "Whoa, what a huge room."

The bedroom had a shiny wood floor, white walls splashed with light from the grand windows, and an enormous bed that looked very inviting, especially given the circumstances.

Gippal awkwardly set the pencil sharpener down on the nightstand as he came in and sat on the bed. He looked up expectantly, but Baralai merely sat next to him on the edge of the bed, picking at his coat and avoiding eye contact with Gippal.

"So…" Gippal began.

Baralai cleared his throat. "It's been awhile."

"Yeah… Maybe we shouldn't –"

Baralai was very good at interrupting. The enticing heat of Baralai's mouth and the hands on his chest distracted him from what he originally planned to say, and at this point, he had entirely forgotten.

"I thought that's what I was going to say…" Baralai breathed hot air into his ear before tracing the edge of Gippal's earlobe with the tip of his tongue.

"Ah –" He brought his knee up to rub provocatively at a conspicuous hardness, eliciting a soft gasp and opening a window for opportunity. Pressing his advantage, he glided fingertips up sleeves, caressing surprisingly smooth elbows. Gippal found it odd, mainly because most people had firm, rough elbows. But then again, everything about Baralai – physically, at least – was soft. Like those…lips…

He tangled a hand in Baralai's hair, coaxing out another kiss, toying with the band around his head until it came free so that he could trail fingers around his scalp. Gippal let his hands slide Baralai's coat off by themselves, not having to see to remember how it went. Nibbling at the patch of tan skin visible above a simple white shirt, he was unprepared for the fingernails raking gently underneath his own shirt.

"Ahn… Baralai…"

Helping each other with their clothing brought forth flashes of memories, old feelings never quite buried… Touching skin, recalling and marveling at how things didn't have to be different… Except, there _was_ something different.

"How'd you get this?" Just a question, innocent enough, or so Gippal thought, as he grazed the curve of a ghostly white scar on Baralai's hip.

Eyes darkened, gaze shifted. Not what Gippal had been expecting when Baralai quietly answered, "Someone cut me there."

"Why?" It was required that he ask, even if his throat was constricting as he spoke, even if there was chance it could mess things up.

"A fight," he murmured. "I know, it's not very…pleasant."

"Pleasant enough to me." He rained down a line of kisses on the scar, each one separate from the next, and then moved onto his stomach, delighting in the tiny noises Baralai wasn't bothering to contain. Gippal dipped his tongue into Baralai's navel and his hand into confining pants, grinning at how the face below his flushed about three shades darker.

"Gippal…"

He raised an eyebrow amusedly. "Hm?" Already working the pants down lean hips. And then…his hand curled around Baralai's sex, tongue darted out to taste the underside, hips bucking up –

"Ah! Gippal…"

Gippal laughed as best he could, for he was finding it a challenge to breathe regularly. "I said 'Hm?'"

"I want to wait until…" Baralai closed his eyes and, wrapping his arms tightly around Gippal's back, pulled him closer.

There were no further words of explanation, but Gippal didn't need any. He understood that the contented, peaceful expression Baralai wore was running in his blood. Smiling, he moved up and placed a kiss on Baralai's forehead.

"I love you."

Baralai's eyes opened slowly, as if he was gradually waking up. Gippal had watched him like this many times, at the moments in the morning when it was neither dark nor light outside and Paine and Nooj were still sleeping.

"And I…love you…"

Baralai reached for his belt, teeth grazing a nipple while his free hand plucked at the other one, and from somewhere inside a thought-devouring haze, Gippal managed to have a sudden revelation.

"Baralai… If I didn't know better, I'd say you have a nipple fetish…"

A laugh. "I'd say you don't know better."

"This answers so many questions…" Gippal informed him, about to toss the pants but coming across an obstacle he had forgotten about. "Boots. The damn things…" he muttered.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed and tugging them off with his pants, he turned his body halfway around to see…that Baralai had already done the same.

He gaped. "Rumo cred (Holy shit), that was fast…"

"I want this…"

Gippal crawled toward him on the bed, aware of his own breath, quick and hard like the thudding in his chest, and the sagging of the mattress under his weight. "Baralai."

A hand reached for Gippal, arm draped over his shoulders, face nuzzled into his collarbone. "I missed you."

Tackling him playfully, Gippal sent them both sprawling onto the crisp sheets, cool against heated skin. As of yet, he had had no desire to climb into them. It was much nicer to look at Baralai unhindered by things like that, nothing shielding his view of such splendidly painted architecture. Warm, too, he realized as he followed his line of sight with touch.

Baralai was exploring long unvisited territory as well. And the amount of squirming Gippal's body underwent was a good indicator of how he was going about it. Not tentative at all, squeezing and brushing and grasping in a very…enthusiastic fashion. He broke from their kiss but continued to be caught up in relentless grinding.

"Nn, Baralai… Bmayca, E's kuehk du… (Please, I'm going to…)" His voice was so hoarse, he didn't even recognize it. "I…"

He received a nod, and Baralai carefully slipped off his eye patch. "I want to see you…"

"All right…" Steadying himself by placing hands on Baralai's thighs, he glanced around. "Um, you wouldn't happen to just…have some lube lying around…would you?"

"Actually, yes… I still have some of the old left in the drawer, I think."

Gippal raised an eyebrow. "You still have that?"

"I _was_ the one who bought it," Baralai pointed out, breath shallow. "And I haven't had a need for it."

"I swear, it's always in the drawer…" He opened it, pulled out the needed item, and clicked open the cap.

Baralai was unmoving, eyes closed, chest hitching as Gippal spread the lubrication. A finger stretched him, and then another, evoking a shiver, little moans, and then a sharper one –

"Mm!" Baralai tried to arch but was held in place by the hips above his.

Gippal waited for consent, poised between slender legs. "Are you…?"

"Always."

Fingernails dug lightly into his back as he edged forward gently, mindful of how long it had been for them both. So tight… He gritted his teeth. He couldn't rush this, but – Baralai was already setting the pace, and maybe…_maybe_ if he lifted his hips up the tiniest bit –

Pleased at the groan he got in response, Gippal grabbed for a pillow and held Baralai's legs up, slipping a pillow beneath him. "This okay…?"

"Most…definitely…"

Baralai was twisting and trembling against those white sheets, straining, pleading silently for more… More than happy to grant him that, Gippal was swallowed by the heat, the intensity of his emotions, the closeness they had been denied it so long. Faster and harder, and it was still increasing… He knew it was coming to a close soon, could tell by the desperation in his own babbling and how erratic his motions were becoming.

"Bmayca... E haat – Suna, bmayca… (Please… I need – More, please…)"

Nothing could compare to Baralai's loveliness when he came. Gippal was positive of this, and the dazed, relaxed expression that graced the face below his confirmed it. A smile, knowing and slight, grew gradually, and Gippal lost the last of his control, shaking in Baralai's arms.

He pulled out cautiously and turned over to lie next to Baralai, resting his head on the other's chest. Gippal felt the corners of his mouth tug in happiness. The fingers in his hair helped.

"Won't you stay for dinner?" Baralai inquired.

They both laughed wearily.

"Why not? I've just had dessert." Pulse returning to normal, he closed his eyes, exhausted.

"Eating dessert before dinner has never looked _this_ appealing."

Gippal was in agreement.

---

A/N: Just a little note on the Mnemosina/star thing… Mnemosyne is actually the Greek goddess of memory. I did a little spin off her name, because I figured they've never had Greek gods in Spira. It's also why Gippal never says "hell" in this… Man, I really wanted him to say it, too! But they don't have hell in Spira, so no banana for me.

Next chapter: Baralai has something to tell Gippal. And…can these two take care of a little girl? They may need help. Especially when shopping for girls' underwear. Oh, dear.


	10. Memento

Disclaimer: I don't own FFX-2 or its respective characters. Square does.

A/N: This is the final chapter. It's shorter than most of my chapters because of that. And whoa, I did so much editing/revising on WC! I mean it. It took me a long time. One error that really made me laugh was when I said I use Nooj as "coming relief" instead of "comic relief." XD My mind must've been in the gutter... When I did the Al Bhed translations, the translator I used (I posted its link in an earlier chapter) didn't put the contractions in. I don't know why! It never did it before. Oh, well. So now I direct you to a better translating site: http:albhed. netfirms. com/. (It's spaced out all oddly like that to get it to show up right.) And thank you very much to all those who read or read/reviewed this fic. This chapter not only switches from present to past, but vice versa as well.

Thanks to: Jade Samurai, JokaJoker, LucidSamurai (Yes, you get two "thank you"s, 'cause you gave me two different reviews and under different names, too!), Jade Pheonix, Rageful Fairy (Yay! Thanks for the "awesome" comment!), Kirie Himuro (Yep, I double-checked on Google and in the dictionary. I only knew something like that because of weird school literature tests, though.), Angelus Errare (I've come to the conclusion you're psychic…), New Guy, Eternal-Darkness2 (After ten minutes of strange noises, the people outside the changing room have decided it's time to investigate! Oh, watch out, Baralai and Gippal! XD), Wai-Aki, Happy Cabbage (I'm glad you think I've got their personalities down. :D), Yuuka Yagami (Erm, I don't know what the second one means? Are the sweatdrops a bad thing? I only speak English and a little bit of Spanish, and neither of those are used, so I've narrowed it down to too many ellipses and the masturbation. Maybe it's both. Maybe it's neither. If it's the masturbation, I'd just like to say that that's normal, peeps.), Magenta Fox (– dies – Your review made me crack up. You have a good sense of humor…), Hidama (I like the nickname Lai-kun. It's cute.), and DemonButtercup.

Chapter Ten – Memento

Gippal was usually in agreement with Baralai. Usually. Not now.

"You need to get out of bed, Gippal. It's been two days. Neona's worried about you." Baralai paused, probably looking at him thoughtfully, but Gippal couldn't tell, because he had his head buried under a pillow. "_I_'_m_ worried about you."

He hadn't cried at the funeral. It was as if he gave in to tears, it would cement the fact that Anyata was dead. But of course she was. He _knew_ that, saw her lifeless face, touched her cold skin while Neona sobbed by the bedside. Her eyes were so glassy, like the eyes of fish. Fish she most likely never got to see, living her whole life in the desert.

"…Where is he…?"

Voices fading out and in again. It was a child this time. Neona.

"…Over here…"

"Gippal?" Small hands were tugging at the sheets and the pillow over his head. "E tuh'd fyhd oui du cdyo eh pat ymm tyo mega Knyhtsy tet. Bmayca tuh'd. (I don't want you stay in bed like Grandma did. Please don't.)"

"Neona…" he mumbled. "I won't." Sitting up and pushing the sheets off his body, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and blinked, bleary-eyed, at the girl in overalls and one very tired looking man. "Well, are you coming for breakfast or not?" he called to Baralai and Neona.

They just stared.

---

"You don't…have to make my breakfast…" Neona murmured, gazing at the sizzling eggs with wide eyes.

"It's okay." He cautiously flipped an egg with the spatula. "You've been here for two days, and I haven't fed you or anything."

"Baralai did," she informed him solemnly.

"Oh. That's good, then." He smiled gently at Baralai, who returned the gesture as he mixed the pancake batter distractedly.

"That ready?" Gippal asked, reaching out for it.

"Yes."

Their eyes met briefly, and Gippal could see that he was full of unanswered questions.

"Here's a ladle," Baralai offered.

A ladle…

"Gippal?" Baralai's voice sounded concerned. He was waiting, holding out the ladle, but…

"She –" He let out a short, miserable laugh. "She always did like using her ladle. That – That stupid ladle…" Letting out a choking sob, he collapsed against Baralai.

"Oh, Gippal…" Baralai exhaled, the breath tickling Gippal's scalp as a hand smoothed over his back and another held his head. It was like Baralai knew this was coming.

It felt good to cry. He should have done it in the first place, he realized. It was comforting to bury his face in Baralai's coat, and thankfully, he didn't seem to mind being used as a giant human tissue. Numbly, Gippal noted that he smelled nice.

"It's just…I miss her _so much_," he whispered hoarsely.

"Gippal…" A tug on his sleeve.

He glanced down to see Neona's quivering lips and cheeks streaked with tears.

"Dra akkc yna pinhehk. (The eggs are burning.)"

---

"No," Baralai refused flatly, casting wary glances around the store.

"Not for _twenty_ gil?" Gippal continued. "C'mon, Baralai. Not for _thirty_?"

"No amount of gil will convince me to wear those on my head and…" He reddened. "…quack like a duck."

Gippal held the underwear high. "Well, she needs them. We _have_ to buy some. I think these are the right kind… They've got little ducks on them! Ahaha!"

"You're insane."

"Thank you."

Grabbing the underwear from Gippal and placing them into the shopping basket gingerly, he looked around racks of clothing. "Where…did she go? Shouldn't she say if she likes it?"

"I think so, too," Gippal agreed. He searched the scene briefly, but there was no Neona to be found. Then he noticed a head poking of the clothing hanging on the racks.

"Guys… Why does this have a pocket?" She brandished a pair of boxer briefs.

Uh-oh. The men's underwear section was right next to this one.

"Pocket…?" Baralai appeared to be momentarily puzzled before a look of understanding passed over his face. "Oh. Erm… Gippal? I'm sure you could explain this…" He started to walk away, obviously just _pretending_ – for Gippal knew this man well – to look through more clothes.

"What? No way." He snatched Baralai's wrist. "Not so fas –"

A high-pitched squeak "pbbbfft"ed throughout the store, causing more than a few heads to shoot up from their in-store inspections. Neona giggled, pointing at Baralai.

Baralai lowered his face into his collar. "I stepped on something…"

Gippal pulled up a pair of underwear wrapped in a squeaky material, laughing slightly as he observed Baralai's embarrassment. It was very cute when his cheeks flushed like that, and Gippal was willing to use any means to extract this reaction. But of course, he would never tell him, because there was a chance it would change the exact way Baralai blushed.

"It could be worse, Baralai," Gippal pointed out. "At least I convinced Rikku and Yuna not to come. They kept saying that we'd need help, just because we're not girls." He smirked. "Little do they know that _you_ used to wear a skirt, and I have better taste in guys than Rikku does." Gippal emphasized the last bit with a poke to Baralai's ribs.

Baralai raised an eyebrow, smiling. "Wait…"

They were heading for the checkout line now, with Neona almost hanging onto Gippal's pant leg.

"Didn't Rikku like _you_?"

Gippal stopped in his tracks. "Hey! Well…" But he couldn't think of anything to say.

Baralai had him there.

---

Fingertips skating under Baralai's shirt, Gippal pulled him down for a kiss. He tickled the roof of Baralai's mouth with his tongue, pulling away for air only when the fly of his pants was spread further open and –

"What are you guys doing?"

Gippal whipped his head to the side to see…Neona. Hastily pushing Baralai off him (which he greatly regretted having to do), he fumbled with his pants, mentally cursing his usual lack of underwear. It would have made him feel safer, for sure.

"Neona, um… Well, uh… Y'know…when you really care about someone…" He felt his face grow hot, but at least he was comforted by the fact that he wasn't alone.

Baralai looked quite flustered, though it probably wasn't entirely from embarrassment.

"You're a boy," Neona informed Baralai, eyebrows wrinkling in puzzlement.

"He is."

"I am."

"But you only do…_that _–" She stunk out her tongue, making a disgusted face. "– if you want to have a baby, and only girls and boys can have them."

"But…we still love each other, so it doesn't matter," Gippal explained. Not only did he not want to go more in-depth on the subject, he had a feeling it would be a bad idea.

Baralai smiled faintly. "You'll understand some day…"

"Ew, gross!" she squealed. "Never!"

"Well, Neona…" Gippal began seriously, in as firm of a tone as he could manage. "I'm afraid you'll have to be punished for not knocking. Come here."

"Fryd?! (What?!)" Her mouth dropped open as her eyes widened.

She wasn't the only surprised one. "Gippal…" Baralai protested, keeping his voice low. "I really don't think that's necessary…"

Gippal merely held up his hand in response. "I've got this."

"Gippal –"

"Neona," Gippal interrupted. "Come closer."

"N…no."

"Yeah. Come here," he insisted.

She obeyed, staring at her feet as she did so.

"Now it's time for…" His expression darkened. "…tickling!"

"Hu! Gippal, huuuuuu! (No! Gippal, noooooo!)" she screamed, flailing as he yanked her to the bed and pinned her arms down.

"Hahaha, nothing can save you now!" He laughed maniacally and attacked her armpits.

"Gippal?" Baralai let out a relieved and humored laugh.

"Baralai, pull up her shirt!"

"What?!" His face went from showing amusement to shock.

"No, not all the way! Just so that her stomach shows!"

Baralai hesitantly did just that, though it appeared he had no idea what was about to happen… It was evident that Neona knew, however, for her struggles became more desperate after the request.

"Blow on her stomach!"

"Huuuu! Bmayca Baralai! Bmayca! (Noooo! Please, Baralai! Please!)" Neona pleaded.

Gippal grinned at him, urging him on, and Baralai smiled as well, now aware of the plan.

"Guys? Guy – Ahhhhhh!"

--- Past:

"Won't the others think we've killed you?"

Gippal smiled and lazily traced invisible patterns on Baralai's skin. "They'll think I haven't come back yet because of…extensive negotiating."

"It _is_ unusual for an Al Bhed to try gaining a temple from Yevonites…" Baralai noted, stretching underneath the covers.

"This has never been done before, huh?"

"Sure hasn't." Baralai turned on his side, facing Gippal, and propped his head up with a hand. "I'm going to have to go into work today…"

"Aw, no," Gippal objected. "Say you're sick."

"I can't. The paperwork…" Baralai's pillar of support slid out from underneath his chin and caused his head to smack into the pillow. It was as if he was exhausted just from thinking about the piles of work.

"Screw that." Gippal brushed strands of hair away from the brown eyes he was always so easily entranced by. "It's been a long time. We have some catching up to do. Besides," he mused, "you look like you could use a break."

"There are many things we have to talk about…" Baralai agreed quietly. "You're right about that…"

"Like this scarring of your palm…?" Gippal caressed his hand, studying it. "Baralai, what –?"

But Baralai had already snatched his hand away. "Gippal… There are certain things I _can_'_t_ tell you. At least, not yet." He drew in a quaky breath. "But it's all just letters and lies to me… They won't let me be."

Concern swallowing him up, Gippal wrapped his arms around Baralai. "Letters?" That was the part he least understood. Lies in Bevelle Temple, on the other hand, were nothing new…

"I wrote you –" Baralai swallowed. "– around twenty, thirty letters. Whenever things became more…difficult, that was what comforted me, as pathetic as that sounds… I thought I could never send them to you, not just for fear of your safety, but because I couldn't. Even if you were safe, I felt I would always be – always trapped."

"Baralai…" A thick syrup of dread was beginning to coat his stomach. "Why? What did those bastards…?"

Baralai shook his head slowly, eyes beginning to redden with the prospect of tears. "Please believe me when I say that I _tried_. I gave it my all…" His voice cracked. "I fought as hard as I could. Not just for me, but for you."

"What…are you saying?" Gippal didn't have to ask. He already knew, but the question of who had done it was continuing to torment him. Whoever it was, he would pay. Gippal would find and _destroy_ him for what he had done.

"Seymour, he…threatened me when I told him I didn't care, that I would rather die and be caught than…than let him –" Baralai gripped the sheets with a hand and stared hard at them. "– force himself upon me."

"Baralai…" There was nothing he could say but Baralai's name. Nothing at all… The man who had done that to him was dead, and now there was no chance for Gippal to make him suffer as he had made Baralai suffer.

"The scar on my hip came from when he threw a knife at me as I tried to escape." His voice was so mechanical, so unlike him. "The scarring on my palm was from when, even after that, I was so determined to be rid of him that I ignored my wound and grabbed the door handle. He used…some kind of spell that made it heat up, and –" He turned his palm upward and gazed at it. "After that, something hit my head, and I remember waking up…with my wrists bound to a bed. I was there for three days and was given no food and little water. I was only good for…being a whore."

"Don't say that…" Gippal pressed his tear-streaked face on Baralai's chest. "That's…not true."

"No one even noticed I was gone, Gippal." Baralai cupped Gippal's face with one hand and ran his thumb across his lips. "No one."

"I would have, and I still…" Gippal embraced him tightly. "I still love you. Nothing will change that, you know."

"I know." Baralai's muscles began to relax underneath Gippal's hold. "I know…" he repeated softly. "I have the letters if you want to read them…"

"I will, but get some sleep first, okay?" Gippal smoothed his hair, coaxing his head to the pillow.

"All right, I'll stay here. Just this once." His eyes drifted closed. "Gippal?" He was completely motionless, except for his mouth, eyes still shut.

"Yes?" Gippal was taken aback by the weakness in his own voice. But then again, he really shouldn't have been. Baralai _was_ his weakness.

"I love you, too."

---

"Oui duug muhkan dryh aqbaldat (You took longer than expected)," Nhadala muttered as Gippal surveyed the latest machina supplies, so far unused in any machina, for they had only just gotten permission.

"Oayr, famm – (Yeah, well –)" He couldn't come up with a decent excuse. Baralai had that effect on him, and he wasn't quite sure why.

Nhadala sighed loudly. "E's hud cina E fyhd du fung uh drec machina huf, ghufehk dryd drec taym fyc byet vun fedr bealac uv ouin ycc. (I'm not sure I want to work on this machina now, knowing that this deal was paid for with pieces of your ass.)"

"Fryd?! (What?!)" Gippal's head whipped to the side so fast, he thought he felt something snap in his neck. "Ow…"

"Tu oui hud drehg E lyh caa druca syngc uh ouin halg? (Do you not think I can see those marks on your neck?)" She laughed. "E's bnaddo cina drana'c y fruma syb uv Spira nekrd drana. (I'm pretty sure there's a whole map of Spira right there.)"

He snorted. "Ed'c hud fryd oui drehg. Fa'na umt vneahtc. (It's not what you think. We're old friends.)"

"Ev dryd'c fryd vneahtc tu, drah oui yht E ryja cusa fung du tu. (If that's what friends do, then you and I have some work to do.)"

Gippal grimaced. "Hu, dryhgc. (No, thanks.)"

"Muug, Gippal. Rana'c cusa rambvim ytjela vnus sa du oui. (Look, Gippal. Here's some helpful advice from me to you.)" She patted him on the shoulder. "Tuh'd cryna patc fedr Yevonites. Uhla drao'na drnuikr fedr oui, oui'mm fyga ib fedr y gheva cdelgehk uid uv ouin pylg. (Don't share beds with Yevonites. Once they're through with you, you'll wake up with a knife sticking out of your back.)"

Gippal narrowed his eyes. "Drao syga zitksahdc. Fa syga zitksahdc. E's celg uv ed. Yht Baralai fuimt hajan, _hajan_ tu dryd. (They make judgments. We make judgments. I'm sick of it. And Baralai would never, _never_ do that.)"

"Yevonites yna cilr robulnedac (Yevonites are such hypocrites)," she grumbled. "Drao tahuihla fryd oui'na tuehk fedr y syh, yht oad, drec syh _ec_ y Yevonite. (They denounce what you're doing with a man, and yet, this man _is _a Yevonite.)"

"Ra'c hud naymmo (He's not really)," he argued. "Ra tuach'd pameaja eh dra daylrehkc. Drao haatat y maytan, yht ra cdabbat ib. (He doesn't believe in the teachings. They needed a leader, and he stepped up.)"

"So, kaddehk tavahceja! (My, getting defensive!)" She laughed. "Oui naymmo tu lyna vun drec syh, tuh'd oui? Yht fyed, oui cyet _Baralai_? Uin Gippal'c kaddehk clnafat po yh esbundyhd maytan huf! (You really do care for this man, don't you? And wait, you said _Baralai_? Our Gippal's getting screwed by an important leader now!)"

He grinned. "Fryd sygac oui drehg E's uh puddus? (What makes you think I'm on bottom?)"

"Oui fana fymgehk geht uv cdnyhkamo… (You were walking kind of strangely…)"

"Ugyo, cu ed'c ajah padfaah ic. Cusadesac ra'mm pa uh dra puddus, yht cusadesac E fe – (Okay, so it's even between us. Sometimes he'll –)"

"Gippal." She covered her ears. "Hu suna. E ryja y vaamehk dryd uhla oui cdynd, oui fuh'd ghuf frah du cdub kejehk tadyemc. (No more. I have a feeling that once you start, you won't know when to stop giving details.)"

"Oui caasat kysa y vaf caluhtc yku! (You seemed game a few seconds ago!)"

"Hu. (No.)"

--- Present:

"Mmm? Why is Neona here?" Baralai asked sleepily.

It was the middle of the night, and Gippal's attempts to resettle himself in bed had probably been the deciding factor in waking Baralai up.

"Neona had a nightmare," Gippal explained. "So I told her she could spend the night here. Oh, that reminds me… She gave me something today."

"What'd she give you?" Baralai questioned. He usually had difficulty getting back to sleep, anyway, so he could ask away and not be too tired to wait for the answers.

Gippal stood up and walked over to the drawer by the bed.

"Gippal?"

"Here." He placed the object in Baralai's arms.

"What is it?"

Gippal turned on the lamp.

"Won't that wake her up?" Baralai glanced at the sleeping girl.

"She can sleep through natural disasters." Gippal laughed.

Baralai turned back to the object… "I…can't believe it."

"Believe it." He beamed. "Neona gave me back my old stuffed cactuar that Anyata had been keeping."

It was a ratty thing, riddled with holes that stuffing was poking out of, but it had been Gippal's most loved possession as a child.

"And –"

A photograph dropped on Baralai's lap. A black-and-white photograph of a little Al Bhed boy with a bandage over one eye. Baralai exhaled, bringing a hand up to his mouth shakily. "Gippal, it's…"

"I want you to have it," Gippal told him seriously, gaze flickering up to meet Baralai's.

"Oh, Gippal… I can't accept this…" he whispered. "It belongs to you…"

"Yes, you can." He pressed the picture into Baralai's hand and gently closed his fingers over it. "It's what started it all, even though I'm sure we eventually would have gotten together without it. I want you to have it… You should keep it."

So Baralai did.


End file.
